Me

2007-08-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

So wow, I guessed my blog has become a "hot spot" har because of some recent misunderstandings..okay so well I'm here to clarify.

To those who have read my blog and have felt angered and pissed, don't worry. I wasn't targeting you anyway. Maybe you have felt thatI'm biased, but please what Ive wrote does not only reflect my thinking. If you feel unjustified at what I have written then good, because I know you are not the one thinking that way, and I'm glad, really glad. If this doesn't convince you, then so be it. I don't have any other time to waste and clarify things with you or all of you. So I wanna clarify n clear things up here, once and for all.

Saying that your're are being happy for not winning at nationals is just literal. Please look deeper. Do you really think we meant that we were pissed and angry at the fact your did not win anything and were feeling angry that your were still crapping? No. Please, do you really think tad all our characters are all like tad, like wad demanding n wanting your to uphold tradition? No. I can't say further, but situations at SJ now, do not allow your to be joking, esp when ur take over the corp. Maybe one day your will know everything.

The word " complacent" WAS NOT meant for any of the fac members. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOUR WHO WENT FOR FAC. Really, so take back the word fuck. Its not meant for your. So your idea of what I was writting was totally off. So that's one misunderstanding cleared.

Another thing I wanna clear: Its not about our legacy. I'm not comparing us with you all in the first place so why worry? Why compare yourselves with us? I'm not saying that we're the best, we are the best ones, and blah blah whatever,so don't think that way. Both teams can't deny tad not much effort was put into this. You can't deny it that both teams of your did not put in much effort. No matter how busy your are surely there was time for practice, but we just didn see it. If you are joking and all that, its okay, its perfectly okay, but wad if ur repeat the mistake again next year? You might not understand what I am saying, so den listen to this: We're perfectly fine with you all joking, but next year, its no joke. Because there is noone else to be there to help your or to scold ur or remind ur or say all the hateful things like what I am doing now. I hope your understand what I saying. Think deeper. If you do not understand, then just know I was not there to suan you or to scold u or mistake you, its really..for your own good. My batch ain't the best, and that's why we're suaning or scolding you all now bcos we don't want your to repeat our mistakes when you all become Ncos. Because from the moment we took you over till the moment we stepped down, we could see all the flaws in all of you, and the many repetitions of our early days. We were all once like your, happy united rebel laugh joke confident motivated upright...but all these, you will be losing it very soon. Its like when u grow up, when responsibilties come, you start to lose part of you, someone u use to be. You start to lose the innocence in you, that bright part in you.

So now that your moving closer n closer to your next year, all I said might not be important to you and that you'll even forget them, but at least they are of notice to you now, and at this very instance. Its not about how successful your must be or have to be being our juniors. Yes we have expectations, but wad can our expectations do? As the old saying goes, its up to your. Not that whatever characteristics we have now is what was in our senior's blood, or that our seniors forced it into us, but we all gathered that from experiences, hard work hard sweat , through ourselves individually or together as a team.

I cannot say further to this. What I say has meaning to it. Please read in between the lines. What i say in the past or what any of the seniors say in the past can sound like thorns, bullshit or whatever, but definitely it carries some meaning and some weight.

In fact, its good that people have taken notice to wad I said and given negative or positive response to it. It really doesn't matter to me now because all of us have stepped down and we aren't there for your literally or physically anymore. We're busy n we have many burdens. If I had to be a devil n say nasty stuff, I would be one to take ur attention to certain matters. Now that your have read whatever I've written, I hope misunderstandings have cleared. Bcos there is certainly no benefits to me to suan your or to be prasing my batch. Absolutely will not help in our o levels, so I hope you know where my or our intentions lie.

When you are a bad cadet, and when you become an Nco, you will have bad cadets too, just like how you were. So be a good one. Because retribution comes about. Do you understand? All of you? Its is rather disappointing to see people still misunderstandin me or us up to this stage because your should all know we've graduated and nothing in SJ benefits us now.

We're all humans and we all make mistakes. Don't say sorry to me , or to us, because your can definitely do better. So carry your experiences this year with you to next year, because next year it will be very useful. We all once started out as inexperienced shit people. We flared, scolded, hated, ignore, cried and angered one another before. And that's what strengthened all of us, to what we are today. If you think this yr you did a lousy job, you are still given a chance next year to not repeat the mistakes n redeemn that guilt. Don't wait till you all are sec 4 n can do nothing much. Just like us.

So now that your all know we've placed our hopes and inaccomplished tasks on all of you, I hope you understood n cleared your part of misunderstandings. Some things written were not targeted to your, so relax. One day maybe you all will come to know everything.

But meanwhile, you are all our juniors, so just like parents, we want the best for your. To be people we've taught your to be. That's why I've said or are saying all this hurtful things.If you think I've been a lousy senior or a leader, or any one of us, then remember our flaws and do a better job next time. Don't misunderstand or get angry, because utimately, we all care about you. All of you.

2007-07-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well, its been long time since I posted, but anyway that's not the main point. Although it was jus 2 months since I last posted but yar, many stupid things happen.

Nationals was over. And as expected they got nothing. Why, in top ten very happy izit? Please there was only ten zones so ten teams. Actually all year4s are the same. We don't need you to win anything, to maintain that standard but as long as u have put in ur best. Everyone goes:" Don't worry! Go have fun! enjoy, just do your best!" But the problem is have you put in your best. I have eyes, everyone has eyes and I believe God has eyes. Eyes to determine and deduce whether you have put in your 100% effort. Well, to everyone the answer is no. You can come up with all kinds of reasons or even, excuses to comfort yourself, but the ultimate thing is your lying. The seniors are the same and so are the juniors. To surprise me even further, I have cadets that even wanted to fight. If you haven't put in any effort in upholding and in buidling the corp, then u have absolutely NO RIGHT to disgrace or tarnish our reputations. So many corp was laughin at us. We have one big point: that our cadets are oblivious. Oblivious to everything. Even to wad is happening to the corp now.

When there are bad cadets, there are bad Ncos.

When Miss ow was having lit lesson, she said:" When you become a teacher, you have to change sides. To become someone you never really wanted. In a situation, your this person. In another you're totally different." That words rang a bell. Then not knowing why, I jus turned to look at careen and said, "Nco is the same". Then we nodded. And i started thinking. If the year4s didn't played each of their roles, our juniors woundn't be what they were today. If i was not a tyrant, or if anyone wasn playin their role, would the cadets be wad they were today? Would they be united? Would they be proud of who they are? Would they have so much torturing or tough memories to brag about n bring them together? Well, I would say that's what seniors left for us. Any other thing wasnt important but what the trainings left behind.

But then I think back again and laugh at myself. Just how good are we? How good are we as seniors to train until such cadets who do not reflect and think? Cadets who are self-centred, problematic and oblivious. Cadets who are problematic and cause problems almost every training. Well, no one is perfect. Not even us as ncos. But we certainly did try to deliver our best to you, to mend whatever mistakes we have done. But we are certain of one fact. We did not teach you people to become complacent. People who are self-centred who only see themselves in the mirror. People who think they are the best and will lead or do things better. Why? Have your achieved smth your are so proud of? What achievements have you laid for the corp? Are u really so united? Or is it just that certain batch of ppl who start influencing themselves n all become complacent and proud together? Call youselves as one? Think again. I'm sick of ppl sayin they will change, they acknowledge their faults but they never change. If the person is lying,its okay. But if that problem comes over n over again n repeats, then there must be some problem with you. Its human nature to forgive and forget, to be proud and forget who are the ones who have trained them, but to reflect and remember is a challenge. And all your biggest fault is to not reflect, think and be humble.

When there are bad cadets, there are bad Ncos.

When there are lousy ppl leading, obviously nothing works. If you think you all have worked hard enough, think again. Are your just working towards "solutions" that do not produce results? What's wrong with your methods? I just do not understand why your do not open your eyes WIDE and Think hard enough. Don't you see anything wrong? Before you scold ppl, think about yourself. We are not perfect, when we led we were not too. But are thinking and reflecting? Tryin to save the situation? You have put in effort, that's for sure but you as a person, something is wrong. I'm still shock to see ppl now, crying, quitting, angry, fed-up. Why? Aren't you just committing your daily mistakes as per normal? Have you learned?

I'm just watching. Watching as it all falls apart. To think we said that we are proud of you and laid our hopes on you, I'm ashamed of myself. That bubble of hope has burst, because of all the foolish pride I see in my cadets. And so, we're all watching it fall, because the rest is really not up to us. We once nutured our cadets to the best, but now, no hope, potential, nothing. If you say u respect someone, then think again. Is it by mouth? What are you just doing? Just respecting or fufilling the person's expectations n hope the person has on you? Aren't you all just breaking the hopes and expectations the person has just continually laid on you? And that whole cycle just repeats itself.

Fate is half- shaped by expectations, half-shaped by inattention.

If you think what I all said was crap, I just want you to know, that people must think and reflect. And not be complacent.

2007-06-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

And you really can forget about everything.

I really must live out of this. Because I'm the only one suffering.

2007-05-30T12:04:00.001-07:00

My holidays don't seem to be like a holiday..there's still school, still must like 6am wake up eveyday..its so...okay, I should already be prepared cos it's like expected because I am a sec 4. Fine..

I can take like 2-3 hours just doing one chem paper. I'm so shock at myself...Because I end up spendin half or an hour flipping through whole textbook to find answers cos i cant rmrb a single thing...There's still tuition papers and school paper...The workload never seems to end...And I have not started revision...O Level SPA Phyiscs is like next week...

Gosh, my efficient rate now is very slow.

Was reading through my messages and saw yours. And when i read those messages sent in the past, I felt disgusted. Because I suddenly thought that these words told to me are also going to be told to her.

Oh, how easy your words and promises just go like that. So fast and steady, aren't you?

To think you were the one that asked me if i could hold on, if i could keep that promise. What a joke. And you can still now act like an innocent young kid.

I'm so disgusted between you and her.

I'll just get on with my life as usual. Because you were never part of it. Got it?

2007-05-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

I can't deny this, I'm affected.

I can't believe whats happening and that your're such a coward. You don't even have the guts to tell me. All this fucking shit that I hear. And I always hear from people. People in my life. People in your life. People everywhere.Except from you.

And I'm so sick of this. I'm so shocked because finally I see something, evidence of what people are saying, all that stuff and shit turned out to be so damn true. Your're such an idiot and now I really feel like whacking you.

And so it's true.

All I could say was that I must have been so fuckingly blind at that moment.

All these scolding towards you really doesn't matter to you now. Because you've practically forgotten everything and bascially nothing is left behind. But can't you just speak out?

Everything was a mistake and perphaps this was the best ending. The only way to get us out of it. Yar, thanks to you. You solved everything. How great and kind you have been.

I neglected things, I overviewed everything. Because I was busy. So if you blame it on me, sorry, I will apologised because part of everything is my fault.

It really doesn't matter to you anymore.

I was blind in the beginning.

Only Valerie cares.

Get out of my life. I don't want to hate you.

Whatever comes next.

2007-05-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm now blogging out of the blue when like I should grab the opportunity to sleep. Well, I' just abt to do so. In the past it was like wah, desperately grabbing for time but now things are much better. Life isn't that hetic anymore. But all the tests are just coming up. They'll just keep on coming in...

When Miss Yam mentioned about June holidays today, I realise there wasnt any holiday for us. She said maximum they will touch three weeks of our holidays for preparation. Only the last week of jun hols confirm wouldn't touch us. I was like....sort of expected it. But then when she said certain days or quite a number of days, our lessons would end at like 4.15pm,I was lik...OMG. We were havin recess, then back to lessons, then lunch break, then back to lessons, tea break then back to lessons, smth liddat. OMG. It's like so packed. O's are brought forward earlier and we still have the same equivalent topics to cover up. It's so rather unfair. Next batch of ppl would have so much lesser topics. The topics that they remove are the major ones, like Kinematics in amaths, etc...Haix. Poor june hols. Maybe when we get the schedule next week, things arent going to be tad bad.....=(

Ystd went Tiong Bahru with Mum to have lunch. Ha..from bishan to tiong bahru to have lunch. The food that is really great! So many diff choices..Bought stuff with mum and a top for myself. She said it was to reward me for my hard work the past few YEARS.Wooh....-.-''. When's the last time i did shopping with mum? Not even chi new yr i guess..

Channel 8's 9 o clock show is rather nice. Rather heartwarming when the wife did so much but the husband didn't realise. Like so bad...There's another tv advert I saw, called Xi You Ji on thursays 9.30pm on Channel U. The girl's really great cos she so sacrificing and yar, it shocked me when she climbed mountains and even did a flyin fox that wasnt so safely preapared just to cross that wide river and to visit a patient.....

Love really conquers all.

It dawned upon me that Friday was our last SJ's phototaking session.The last one we would ever have. Can't believe it..time really flies so fast..I'm now gonna graduate and this is our last yr together...

Well, all I can say was that the trip was WORTHWHILE. :)

Things will get better.Between us.

A final blow

2007-04-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

argh..finally ive changed the blogskin after using that blogskin for 1 plus year..Its a blogskin made by Shu Han..my best mate.miss her anyway.

I wanna go Rome, Italy, Canada and Australia. So many places I wanna visit but no money, no time. For now, no time. But after O's...ARGH. Imagine the joy that everyone will go through and i bet all of us will go crazy n wild. DAMN, my O's end 6 days later then other ppl cos i take higher chinese. DAMN! Boohoohoo..i wished i took normal chinese. that's an easy topic to score. Why am i thinkin about enjoyin after O's when prelims are yet to come?

Come to think of it, I haven really been studyin much these few months and have wasted lots of my time. Its time to get started and serious. Its time I learn to let go. Its time I start to learn to say Goodbye.

Its the time of the year. But whether we win anot, the results, the satisfactory only affects your, not us, not we. But you n yourself. If you want to waste your time n hours spent trainin n throw them into the drain, den slacking is just the right way.

Full force, full gear: they use to say. To us.=)

2007-03-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time since I last post. I think i say that everytime i post smth. Okay, but its definitely true what..Its funny that its already March 2007 and I still wanna talk about the things in 2006. There are so many things I wanted to blog but ya, came into my mind and drifted off. Apparently, no time. This blog is abt one plus year old le ba..I stil rmrb shu han made this for me. It was at her house and we made this blog bcos of some reasons. So cute of us.
2006 is one of the most challenging n tiring years. It's fun, sweet and memorable. And yar, definitely with SJ, i grew up.Not any taller but more matured okay! *don laugh! Highlights of 2006: 1. Transition of Year 3 Ncos (FA head) 2. Zone FAC training (1st man) 3. Zone FAC 4. Training camp 2006 (campfire) 5. Hongkong trip with Nursings 2005 6.National FAC 7. OBS Camp 8. Course Achieve 9. Advance Nco Course and Camp All these highlights left me a very deep impact and memories are really sweet. I can only say year 3s really rocked my life. They are the ones that walk with you in and out, thru the dark, laugh, joke, sing n cry with you. Although their gd frens around you, in your class, but truly how many frens spend the night plannin so many shit stuff with you, overnight together, do crazy stuff together, goin thru thousands of sleepless nights together, eat mac almost every friday, go thru camps n walk thru dark jungles alone in the nite b4, march in the mud, marchin in pulau ubin 3am in the midnight with ur officers? All these things is just so memorable..Argh got to let that habit go..sooner or later we're all gonna lead somhow or other different lives..but i know when i leave zhss, how many thousands of yrs later, wen i look back at my sec school yrs, i'll smile and cry thinking abt them. I know I'll be proud that i was once a SJ cadet and an Nco of year3s 2006. I once wrote in my chinese compo b4: although i know that in our parent's eyes, in our tcher's eyes, in many ppl's eyes, the time we spent together are wasted, don contribute to our future, but yar i don regret bcos we all have learnt things many ppl don get to learn or enjoy, or suffer with their frens. Obs was another sweet thing too. five days but sweet memories. i rmrb its was eleven plus we were sitting on this raft that was floating on the ocean with my group, tokin n sharing stories. I'll rmrb my instructor, Jonathan! He's from hong kong. We kayaked for 8 hours? it was ard 8/9 in the morning to ard 5 at noon ba.shoulders ached n yar! a swordfish went into my kayak la! I screamed like hell den tah jian stil laugh at me. All thanks to Ernest lar, who kayak passed me n got that stupid swordfish into my kayak. Whack him ar! hahahs..Besides all this, all these camps, etc, another thing happened. I know that he might not be readin my blog cos i don think so he even know abt this, but yar, i just wanna say I'm sorry because i just..feel lik apologising. We each have our own committment, and we're both distracted. We're drifting apart but still i wanna thank you for all those things you have done for me, stuff that we have went through, whether we were meant to be, at least we knew we had smth.

I thank God for you, and I'll remember the
promise we had together. Let's let nature take its course.

2006-07-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

today i learn a lot of tings or lets say i got to noe more bout the ppl next to me..but firstly i wanna wish my dearest yeo shu han HAPPY SWEET 16 BIRTHDAY! u have grown! hahahs, i went thru a lot of tings wif ya heys so babe, we ve grown lots together. i reali mish ya wen im in sj. tings are shuo different. ni yao zhi dao wo zhen de hen teng ni de! havin known u as a fren ish really a ting tad changed n impacted my life. im glad to have grown thru a lot of tings wif u, bcos smths oni u can understand n c hao i feel. u feel i feel, all the same. shuo sweet rite we all. all dese sweet memories mus bri along wif u wen u leave zhss kays! haix, men..hao i wish u sec3..

now to move on to kor kor le..today u finally tok to me! although i noe u will neva see this blog n u oso neva tell me hu u like all tad, i wan to tell u..ive not lose u as a brother yet..i reali hope we last as frens.its like.at times we will see the true colours of one. finally.whether dey are our true frens a not.i donnoe hao to sae.i have shuo mani thousands tings to tel u until i cant rmrb wads it. i jus wanna sae. im here fer u n to listen to u. u mus oso listen to me kays.i may not be the bes adviser nor bes listener but im here fer u. although i was busy with sj, but still i reali wanted to spend time with ur. not tad i wanted but its was my responsibilty. i was oso in a hard position yar.

now to my fac team. i have failed to be ur leader. it was one of the worst leaders in zhsj history rite. i now i gave the most attitude, flared up the most and cried the most. trainings werent enjoyable. we walked into this journey together. we finally got out of it. arent u happy? i am.

i truly am. bcos life in dere was hard. u can say i was weak or directly i am a lousy weak leader. but heys 2 years of fac can kill yea? cos parents hmk n all tad shit. me myself. im not a self-motivated nor vv positive person but yet wen ur r all shuo dead, i have to go n motivate ur n wake ur up. mus u noe, act lik im not tired. my 2 yrs of fac is different. the passion in our team ish vv differnt frm the previous one. it neva seems rite. ur don realli aim, focus or thought of anything properly b4. wad do u reali want?hav ur ever tot abt it?seems lik sum stupid question but tads y we go about aimlessly.everytime aft tekan sessions, all tad voice out sessions we r always stil bac to square one.rite?arent we liddat? i walked hard thru dis journey bcos i reali saw the true colors of ppl.some i neva expected to b dere fer me helped me while ppl tad i tot was goin to help me left me. ive neva regretted inthe decisions i made in my whole life n today i want to tell all of u dis- be it whether u are stressed a not. if u realli want it, then it is up to YOU n to ME. there was no such ting as im alone in our dictionary.

2006-06-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

tmllos goin hk..trainin camp held by us jus ended..its not a gd one at least we stil had one another..i reali love my grandma..i hope god would lool aft her fer me..i love u grandma..

2006-04-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

i guess i gotta to start doin my bez..cant deny..i feel stressed..the workload neva ends.

jus now wen dad told me his problems, i guess i beta start tinkin.

its either i quit my tuition, or i quit nationals competition to work and provide $$ for the family.
i gotta help my family.
i believe dere are outstandin ppl hu are able to lead the team.

im standin on it all alone. again. cant ppl jus be more understandin. my mom again.

2006-04-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

haix..another tired day..but different cos com has ended..wanna thank god fer his blessing..cant belive it..its like almost two weeks gone since com..nationals are chasing after us le..they will catch us before we even noe it..my dear team..i wonder if i am still goin to be ur first man..Father pls pull me up and save me from the drowning world..things neva end.

2006-03-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

actually when i saw dem today, did i realise how much i reali missed them. my nco frens. my group foxtrot. how we laughed played and joked. how we fool around. hahas. we were never on serious business only when kanna punished. hahas. today dey were doing footdrill. i was so glad i saw dem! argh! its like ten years never see each other le! but....the next time we are going to see each other is wen we are competing with each other. sad rite. life is liddat..sometimes i wish tings werent liddat..i wish we could fool and live around with no worries. i reali hope fer a life ware no one has ani worries. like all of us. hahas. impossible.

i guess i really miss dem. our zone 5 nco days.

2006-03-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

its 12 am on my com. end of my birthday. end of this bad dae. this worst day in my life.
did ppl ever tell you dey cried 5 times on their birthday wen they turned 15?

i donnoe why..i jus reali disappointed..they all forgot. i cried. they are not worth my friends.

who cares if u turn 15? wads the big deal.

i wont deny. im hurt and upset.

shuo much fer all the excuses. i dont want to be the next greatest fool in the world ever again. i just feel like cryin it all out. when ur frens jus r not dere to listen to u. all gone suddenly.

i never want to turn 15 again. birthdays suck.

2006-03-07T06:01:00.000-08:00

stop the pretence..tad is in me..and he stil doesn noe..

okies..i admit i felt *********** wen i first saw n heard it..okies in otha words..I DIN BELIEVE IT..

im nort goin to continue to get hurt..i don even wan to see you..i will need gods help..i believe i will go through it

believe..believing...

2006-03-05T04:48:00.000-08:00

if my blog was long enough to type stuff, i would have done tad long ago.
and sometimes i jus wanna sae..in dis whole world ur not e only one suffering..u have jus too mani things u fear u lose dem instead..why mus u kip brin up e past..do u not realise ur e only one..if would just let it past u.nth would have happened..we can be shuo busy we forget n neglect the tings ard us..n den we jus gradually lose dem..cant u jus remind us?..instead of goin wif otha ppl and sae we let u go past us instead?..cant u?..all dese times we have been listenin to u blog and now can I have a chance to speak?..hais..if u r willin to give us all a chance..its not too late..ITS NOT TOO LATE..if u wan other ppl to take over the place we are still reservin fer you..you have the only right to remove and throw it away..we will never leave you..ABSOULUTELY no..

you have the power to let us remain. not only jus the 3 of us. you can.

2006-03-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

there are many moments are want to capture in my life. like you.

how true it is. i cant control how i feel and what i feel. i just nid you. badly. seriously. i miss you.

2006-02-27T07:02:00.000-08:00

Hahas..im tired..actually wanted to blog dis cos i couldn help it..i was rather upset wen i heard tad 3e3 was havin their bbq at genes house..u noe..tad was 2e3 territory..ex 2e3..haix i tink i shld learn to let go..of the past..mayb i was e only fool whos like tinkin bout dis..i cant help but tink of e moments..tad we used to do..okies im a past idiot..somegal hu cant let go of the past..now its gonna b taken over by other people..e other e3s..gods fate..if only gene could stop it..i was actually glad wen jer said its our territory..haix..idiot mi..

2006-02-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

its been long since i blogged...
i miss jenny..
and the rest..
what silly things we used to du last year..
well..no point lookin back at the past..
once glorious and now?..
i wont deny it and wont admit it..
too many things, so little time..
we still have a long long way to go..
i just dont want it to fall under our hands, in our year..
well..easier said than done..
Father in heaven bless us..show us the power of faith..

2006-01-26T00:29:00.000-08:00

okies..now it seems like the blogger website has probs huh..sec3 camp was rather fun..was okay..treasure it bcos it was my last camp with him le..we can never hav another camp together le..sad..sec 3 camp had a lot of activities..had fun..Banderlog/ Bandarlog..hahas..seriously i wan to kip those memories in my mind.. burt i don wan to lose 2e3 at the same tym..n i probably neva will..im jus scared, afraid tad e ppl ard mi..the ex 2e3s will forget them..i noe they will not completely but stil..im afraid..e thought lingers in my mind..i reali am afraid..i love each one of them..tads true..e scared in you when you dont learn to appreciate earlier on at certain times..i love each one of them..includin xiao long nu..i aint kiddin..i jus donnoe hao to live w/o them..i reali nid dem..dey came n den were taken away..i hate it..dey are alreadi a part of my life..i reali love dem till i donnoe hao imgona survive ani longer in dis class..hao long im goin to pretend..lik i cant wait fer 2 years to pass..

i love dem n i aint kiddin..my 2e3express..i love you....

2006-01-14T04:22:00.000-08:00

wahh.todae printed a whole lort of papers..all e methods of teaching n all tad..wah..goin crazy le..

i cant stand my fuckin sis..actin cool..wah lao..giv attitude den wad..all of us muz bow down n treat u like princess ar?..eat shit lar..wah lao..cant stand it..u sae wad all of us muz do wad oso..follow u..wah lao..fucker bitch..don tink u act tua, gort a lort kao pei frens den cum show us attitude hor..act ar act ar..everyday oni noe hao to act, act n act n act..big deal ar..so big ar..got kao pei fren den liddat..act tua..shuddup lar bitch..if u don cum home ill celebrate lik hell lar..tink wad u..everyday c mummy n daddy hav to treat u shuo well jus to ask u do hmk..lik BEG u do hmk liddat..don nid act lar..do hmk doesn mean u guai kia can..big ar..u tink scold bac tcher, don du hmk, fail all test means u big ah lian ar..means u rebel ar..vv tua rite..ppl wil kneel down n pray to u rite..den go wah wah rite..act cool gal..fucker bitch..kao fren ar u..hell lar..nex tym c u eat whose sai to earn money n get job ar..PLS LAR..open ur BIG BIG EYES n c e whole world can?..nvr c e whole world den jus shuddup and eat ur own shit can..everyday jus stick to dose few fren..lik wad liddat..wan act head rite..don cum giv ur attitude at home n act lik princess hor..u wann den u don cum home..dis whole huse oni papa mama den tua..u don lik jus shuddup n go hor..leave hor..act act act..wah kaos eh..

sori..gotta reali fa xie at times u noe..yar..

2006-01-05T06:35:00.000-08:00

hmm...todays..damn busy..donnoe why..got reali a lort a lort to du..reali..todae meetin ended..although finished hmk..burt had shuo muc x10 sjab research nid to du..den wad..com got prob..kip hangin..now waitin fer dem to process..hais..damn slow lor..haven found purposes and aims n serve of sj..damn..min thu help oso got prob..damn..

start of a new yr..sch ish gettin on great..admit its hard fer all of us..hais..muz du well n oso sj..invalid ncos..hao nan ting wor..hais..no choice..donoe..jus feel my ********** droppin n droppin..nort reali interested tad muc in e wad again le..reali..i reali wan ****/**..hais..reali donoe..now reali mish tokin to shepherd..

new goals in life- * NO copyin of any hmk
* at least 2 As
* lead n do well in SJ, bri bac CHAMPS
* will pay attention in class
* stop daydreaming
* spend reali more quiet tym
* spend tym wif my father
* complete every hmk or sj assignment perfectly
* NO Cs, Ds or Es in grades! pass everyting

wish u were here goin thru everyting wif mi..burt still i wil stand strong...

2005-12-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

todae han help mi wif dis blog..yar..was rather excited burt at e same tym disappointed. Dis blog was made fer dem. Fer the hearts and eyes. I am truly utterly disappointed in dem. Less than half an hr n 2006 ish comin. Hav i accomplished wad i wan? its obvious tad we're upset..n e decision lies withtin dem..y would dey condemn us? n label us? jus bcos we achieved smth dey did nort b4? ish tad true? i jus don wan tad to happen..a new yr ish comin ahead n im seriously nort prepared fer ut..dis whole ting has made mi feel shuo insecure, shuo disappointed..i don wan to ever face dose shit again ..seriously..ish it worth it? i kip askin myself..okies let nort look on e bibical side, 4 God..ish it reali worth? to work n blindly serve dis ppl wen dey treat u lik gems at first n den shit later..its lik we've been used n den thrown later..lik wad?..wad dis?.

dey won noe wads its lik to b tad..bein condemned..bein thrown aft used..e feelin ish nort gd..no 1 would lik tad..of all e ppl, of all e yr *, y r we e ones?

I am utterly disappointed. You don have to b committed n strive fer it to get wad u wan.

Dont snatch away my hopes and dreams when dis ish oni e beginning.

*I did not label or personal attack anyone in dis post. If i have ever offended ani 1 in dis blog, shuo b it. Tis' my voice n heart speakin. No one can stop it.

2005-10-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

lalla~lala~in my lala~world..nowadays don wanna du aniting lle..juz watch tv watch tv n more tv..jia lat..shuo borin..blog oso nort workin..haiiixx..tmllos got sch lle..sian sian sian...haix im shuo bored...someone cum play wiif mii....i c him now..haix..donnoe wad m i feelin..tad feelin overcomes me again..gosh..haix..i lik sherry's com men...n e table..hahhhhaa..llame mi..takin b2...ish everyone oso takin b2? im gonna mish eugene in my clas men..genes genes..no miss long n him..clas vv borin de..men...lik all boys go b1 den gals go b2..sian..my choices r shuo farniee de..made dem wothout ani family person knowin..lord bless plz..thx..now got sum ppl bloody irritatin ar..short-tempered yar..tads e rite word..n oso complacent..yesh tads e rite word...well nort my fault i alreadi wanted patch tings up..stil got sum ppl bloody gvin attitude shuo wel let him eat his fire ba...wad a damn boi..woohoo! guess oni ozp noe wad i tokin..hahhhaha..gosh..todae got a wonderful experiencein e BEAUTIFUL rain wof tifii..gosh..oki here's e storiiee..first we alighted e stop rongly shuo we had ta walk all e way to han's huse which was lik 2 stops away..alreadi rainin cats n dogs le..my half body alrreadi wet le..n e umbrella seem to b breakin liao..shuo damn cold..shirt wet, bra wet, underwear wet, buttocks wet, pants wet, bag wet, handphone wet, wallet wet, shoes wet, legs...drenched fr head to toe..den ask han mit us a e 3rd bus stop we finally reached..ppl looked at us like siao cows..gosh..den han came n we al tot she look lik aunty in e 1st place..den i n han share umbralla n tiffi walk behind us..walk walk walk..rain rain rain..wet wet wet..suddenly we met a "river"..argh! al e low points flow w water down n flooded e road we wanted to walk....e path ba..den bside ish road le..all e cars shuo no choice to walk lle..shuo we waded thru e water!!! argh!! e water was lik muddy water..brown in colour!!!!!..den wadin wif han pullin mi n all of us screamin n cryin...suddenly one of my flip flop juz drop out of my feet!!!..den i try tel han stop n let mi wear my shoe..den she juz neva care n pull mi to walk n cross e road..den i juz pathetically watch n cry abt my shoe washed off by e muddy water..argh!!! later flow to drain hao????? my pooor shoe!!!! haix...den everythin wet n walk on e road wif a squashed dead frog..eew!..now at sherry's huse wif han's clothes, han's pants, han's shoe, han's bag n everythign xcept underwear n bra..hhhahaaa..wad a rain pt xpreince...goosh....

2005-09-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

wah lao...DESMOND LIM SUX LAR! ham ji sia..kanna sai..i regret wad i did men..n2 TAD BLOODY GAL OSO SUX! D** **I a bloody fucker men..des men watch out..big idiot...fucker...

2005-09-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

harloe bloggie..todae i feel..hmm..good..todae tiffi n i wen to mac to study..surprisingly we did study lar..i xpected as to fool around..but i guess guys weren't dere shuo we were muc beta mar..i studied history thou..tiffi studied maths..todae yan yu n tiffi gave mi a bible n a plate wif their words..hhaha..shuo nice..i tot e bible damn x lar..hahha..kiddish mi..was readin dis booklet juz now..hahaha..wanna study out wif han again..shuo nice to study wif ur frens n u kan concentrate..argh!!..needa buy pens le..argh!! kip forgettin it..stupid mi..e nine o clock show shuo scary todae..ai yo..donnoe wad dey doin..shuo scary..haix..xams cumin in 2 weeks tym le..r u ready fer it??? no!!!! argh..beta study hard le..kant absorb!! fer science esp!! argh!! wad combi m i gonna take nex yr??? i realli don wan lose ani of frenx here..in e3..i won b able to find ani one lik my clas ppl liddat in my clas nex yr..haix..more worried fer sam..she's goin to sum ware ware al of us neva even go b4...nvm..gonna make e party e bex one eva..2e3 rock e huse!!!! yea!=)))

He is the one that showed mi e light,
He is the one who gave us grace,
He is the one that gave endless embrace,
He is the one that gave mi guidance,
He is the one that showed mi e love,
For he is our Father,
Let's cum n celebrate,
Cos he's e one that lives in our hearts
Cos he's e one...ahahaha(x3)

2005-09-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

something werid ish goin on in my com....wad a werid com..aniwae ystd todae sux...my ma has p.m.s men..idiotic....aniwae todae ish oso sept 11..ai yo..neva watch news..ouch..my stomach hurts..

*dis blog has history de mar!!?????

2005-08-30T02:00:00.000-07:00

it been's a long tym..i donnoe..feelin weird wen i hear tad song...feelins developin..damn confuse..i donnoe..its damn confusin..hurt in both sides n in both ways..i haven said a ting yet..bought new specs..donnoe nice nort.........

2005-08-22T00:20:00.000-07:00

Nothing left.So sorry. Bastard.Thx everyone.

motivated yar..

2005-08-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

i decided i muz b motivated n study hard le..no tym to waste..left few weeks to score wel..kinda hard..burt beta manage tym wel n spent more on studyin...yuppx...its either course a2 or b1 yar..burt course a2 ish ss+geog shuo nort vv gd lei..donnoe lar..burt muz study hard e best..ystd felt shuo batrayed n backstabbed..sum freakin ppl in 2** made mi hurt lar..e 2 suckers..n ***..i cant believe she didn wan tel mi e truth..i don mean to shoot her..reali..she impt in my life lar..she noes it..i tot i told her b4 aniting seriously can tel mi cos i reali trust her..n e nite before she juz told mi smth..n yet..nvm..its juz a small matter..don blow it..tads wad bro said..bro matured le..shuo gd..muz thx him fer pei-ying mi e whole dae ystd..n ah zhan..o yar..muz cal sherry..ai yar..wad hav i n her becum? wif her by the side..or ppl in e way..mayb its my fault..mi n her's fault?..burt she's lik shuo innocent..donnoe hao to c tings..as in..i donnoe hao to sae..****** ish lik kip sayin bout someone..as in kip lor..non-stop..e two of us nort meant to b dere n owaes as in OWAES here to hear u speak tad stuff...its lik shuo sickenin..u look at it..ur atti n e past weeks..e tym..hav u let us alone before? besides takin our bus together at e bus stop..r we tad patheic?..i tink oni sum ppl wil understand wad im tokin bout...im reali sick of her lar..goin:" *pouts her mouth* ****'* ** ******?" tad kind of shit stuff..enuff means enuff lor..i don even go tad far..neither does sherry, jas, sam or wad..*** **** another one..i don noe lar..i reali wan to b vv mean to dis ppl..burtt i tink nobody wil noe y i liddat..xcept fer bro ba..e rez wil think tad im uz plain mean..nort even shery wil noe y..oni one-sided wil nort work lor..wil neva lorr..haix..break my heart..shuo mani ppl now..haix..e fuckin 2 oso..in my clas..one act cute n innocent..e otha act tua..wadeva..dey noe my situation shuo plz shuddup..

its time i put my protective net ova myself n take gd care of myself..tad i won fal hurt easily n raise my awareness..time i b heart-less..burt him..i donnoe..

2005-07-07T22:27:00.000-07:00

i realised i havin been bloggin..burt gtg...i reali mish him..*** tad bloody bitch..she damn jealous..haha..cos she's nort loved..hhaaha..heck her..ask her sux her breasts since she claims her's big..kayx my life nw pia-ing besides nationals n oso hmk..damn..n mishin him..of cos..n tad bloody ger again..e war's gonna start bout e frens tingy if sum1 doesn noe her limits n kips pushin..either its e end or e salvage..2 words..fuck off..*pissed*

2005-06-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

haix..tmr sjab n ncc dae..1st of july..tads ncc..sjab ish 2nd de..haix..mayb he's nort e one fer mi le ba..mayb durian 2 ish ba..burt my heart goes out to apple instead..durian 2 ish lik..i feel lik he's shuo close to mi lor..i dunnoe..i noe..its possible..reali possible btw mi n durian 2..burt..mayb i dun trust him ba..he's surrondins..apple oso same wad..men..mi..owaes fall fer rong guys..burt cant help it..gurls owaes fall fer bad bois..n2 n t1..haixx..men..get tad damn ting out of my head..gettin everyone fark-ed up..(song:i aint no hollerback gurl..nice song..aniwae tmr gonna stadn v-------------v long cos its ncc n sj..den miss tan n miss loo WILL comment a lort!!!! damn..dey sae sj last yr oni..in total almost one hr..den ncc n sj die liao lor..haix..gettin n weaker..tired n more tired..drained out..looks lik i'll neva have a break..damn my fuckin ma..irritated by her..FUCK HER..yesh..FUCK..sori..couldn control it..ITS OWAES LIDDAT! DAMN IT! DAMN EVERYONE! IM SICK N TIRED OF MY LIFE! GET OUT!

2005-06-24T23:40:00.000-07:00

o god..i almost forgot..kor..ng chun yang..listen to dis or rather look here!!!!...HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAE!!!..i dint forget kayx..i hav wonderful memory..jux blame u fer nort remindin mi..wow..hhaha..

2005-06-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

an apple can seem an apple;
a kid can always seem a kid, burt its a livin ting;
n i lik it to b innocent..

ish my apple diff? a real one can nort noe hu u r fer as long as 365 daes every yr n it doesn hav feelins...wadeva..todae's trainin sux..nvm..sj..ish gd..

2005-06-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

now at sherry's huse..dyin of boredom..tmr sjab camp..muz go home pack..sian..haix..love her com..i read his friendster..wonder hu he's ***** ***..haixx..can neva b mi de lar..stupid stuff..haixx..im shuo damn tired..thousands stuff to du..haix..i realize..tad absence realli makes e heart grow fonder..i lurrve him..damn..

--->i tried to let euu go..burt it makes mi incomplete..i.n.c.o.m.p.l.e.t.e..<---

sec 2 camp rox!

2005-06-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

zhss to k05..always on e bolla-wow! hahas..shuo fun lor..i wan go bac camp!!shuo fun!!den can oso c until him!!..sumting happen todae..he msg mi!! hahas...farniee..nth big..til now oso haven reply..wtf..i tink he gt my no long ago..sumting smells fishy in here..farniee lor..i wan go bac camp!!! can c him..kip dancin..play ard lik fool..slp together wif frens..bond our clas together..hahas..
e stupid chaplin ar..haha..jeslin my faciliator!! yea!!hahas..i reali wan thx jas fer takin care of mi..shuo care bout my feelins..thx jas..reali thx..read my bloggie kayx??..jie wanna thx euu..naah..big hugs..=)..i reali mish e nitex wen we shouted clas cheers..shouted auggie du break dance...den he did..jeryl shake shuo sexily..e3 comin up wif last min cheer..we played squeeze den towel fly over ying wei's head..jonathan throw one..haha..den i was lik wad..runnin lik mad woman in front of him..SHIT..hahas..hapi memories..den durin campfire..kip peepin at him..n i felt tad he kip lookin here..reali..wad dis??..was it him or his bro?..i reali dun noe..im lost..wad shit..i don wan ani otha hope to throw mi into ani furhter hurt..im tired of dis..ill neva get wad i wan or wad i nid..haixx..bac to camp..den we were called egg tarts n jer's grp pandan cake..cos we yellow dey green mar..hahax..kute rite?..we did e cheer infront of him lor...e egg tart ar ar ama..tad one...hahas..my grp kip playin wif jer grp..hahas..shuo fun..i kanna wet lor..water bomb..den i hold their hands..both e guys..c ish beta..i don noe..no comments..to prevent ani further trouble or misunderstandin...damn..i wan go bac camp..can c him..i wan him..him!..arggh!im crazy! bcox he msg mi todae n din reply!! i wan him!!..siao mi..mishhin him..die..reali..i wan c him now!!..

okie..its tym to stop wastin tym!

2005-06-06T23:06:00.000-07:00

todae trainin..du a bit footdrill n u noe wad?..we all realise tad its time to buck up!!!..coordination all muz cum bac..muz strat trainin le..intensively!!..hhaha..i tink im crazy..shld i go movie or go trainin?..reali dun noe lor..its lik tiffi nort goin..she neva tel mi n i tot she was goin...den in e end?..she nort goin..she goin trainin..IF she could cal sherry, y cant she cal mi?..funny rite?..harloe..my tai zi link to her tai zi lei..i tot tues no trainin one lor..tads y shuo happi..tot eveyting purfect..burt in e end..i wan to go both..n oso my grp meetin..all clashes together..dere's lik reali no choice..no breathin space!..tad movie ish a long waited one..i was WAS SHUO DAMN enthu bout it..burt in e end..got trainin n grp meetin..haix..burt im goin fer movie..yan allowed mi..haix..can sae heng ba..burt if wan mi go trainin..i will..i reali wil..no point sayin..she allow mi..den go ba..im dependin on situation tml..yuppx..my hols..intensive trainin..damn..luckily no sj dae rehearsal..hehe..kayx lar..im lik doin more tuition work den sch work..my past bloggies!!!ware r dey??..damn stil haven find yet..grandma goin china le..tearx..sad lik hell..mishin euu too..ware u?..haix..

tired sia..i'll neva get a break

2005-05-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

wen's my break cumin? dis hols dun seem lik hols n it iznt goin to b one..sjab fac nationals trainin, sjab dae rehearsal, sec 2 camp, sjab camp,art project, hmk, lit project n drama, tuition..ware's ,y tym?..all dis ish overwhelmin..no one understands..trainin trainin n trainin..tired..phyiscally n mentally..mayb mentally ba..fer ****..all my motivation all drive down to 0 alreadi..sick n tired of all dis shit..damn..its lik damn zero lor..its lik controllin my life..damn..burt its lik a duty n responsibilty i cant let go off.. nw muz pia all hmk finish first b4 lettin my mind set sum ware in peace..sick lar..i mish him..i reali du..i wanna c him..lord..plx

--->ware my heart holds oni euu..yesh euu..<---

sian lar todae..mish him sia..

2005-05-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

todae..sian..realised tad valerie's blog skin same as mine..alamak..dun wanna change again le lei..i hope valerie dun mind lar..if she mind..den she tel sherry..i go change lar..its okay ba..

***** *** askin mi fer ***..sian..again..no wae..giv him my ********..siao..rather giv apple..ma naggin..wasted shuo muc tym..gtg..bye bloggie..muackx! takkire!

2005-05-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

jux rmrb..my sir commissoner passed away..n i missed him..dunnoe y..juz wanted to post it..shuo wen i read my past bloggiies..i'll rmrb n tink of him..i wun forget him..e dae my mdms cried lik hell..e dae e cadets n family's eyes all flooded..wen we saw his coffin get cremated thru e window..n we all were sayin or-mi-tor-phor..wen his wife(or daughter i guess)kip faintin n strugglin on her two feet again to c him get cremated..wen terence jackie jenny n seniors did slow march..n we watched his coffin get into e van to e crematurioum hall..n e oficers saluted him wen his coffin passed..wen mr lee was e coffin bearer..wen he cried..wen we saluted him wen he was creamated..n we three by three bowed to him..wen we put e sj flag on him n his beret..n wen e officers removed it..all dis sad memories..he was juz dere..two weeks ago..standin in front of us.. so healthily n steadily..we were waitin fer him to start e com..n e lord cried..e sky sent rain..n it poured..zone five will neva b e same animore without him..i missed him..everytym i tink of him..i tink of him in his uni n his dedication..his many thousand yrs of dedication..wen his wife thanked us n mentioned it..wen everyone was yellin..he neva looked down on us as cadets..even thou i dont noe him..burt he forever remained in our hearts..individually..in zone 5 n in us...

-->one soul tad live in our hearts n minds forever..greatly missed<--

wanna scream out loud! dunnoe y..burt feelin gd..

2005-05-21T15:58:00.000-07:00

yesterdae actually shuo hao go eat dinner de..officers treat us.. burt den wen actually all preppared...dress nice nice den..wen we go out..out of sch..den receive news tad dinner cancelled..dunnoe y i wasn reali shocked or surprised or upset..burt rather..i sorta xpected it or tot bout it..becox there wasn ani officers ard in sch n i was wonderin hu was goin to treat us..burt nvm..tiffi wen home.. n we all e rest wen j8 eat oursleves lor..nvm mar..no officers..can go eat ourselves, ehjoy ourselves de mar..den we ate vv happily n wen home lar..burt in my mind..

i was tinkin bout him..tad i actually did wad i hope i could du..hhaha..n it was a succeess..hhahaha..it wasn aniting pervetic lar..nth ta worri bout..burt at least he notice..hhaha..shuo hapi.. it wasn nort ani ting big thou..

n wen i was doin footdrill..dey were in front of us..n i was wonderin if he was dere..if he was at trainin..burt i had a strong feelin tad he was..tad he was at trainin..even if he wasn..he would stil b in sch..n we were marchin, marchin n marchin..n..i caught sight of him..he was lookin at us..at us marchin..shuo embarrassin..n i noe eugene ying wei was oso lookin ba..alamak..ystd trainin dunnoe y suddenly shuo nervous..scared we'll kana scolded..farnie rite mi lena n tiffi..lena n i scared cos scared punishment lik wad mar..n so..we were marchin n dey were lookin..den wen we berhanti n ke kana, we faced dem...i looked at him juz so eventually..n he was lookin at mi..burt wen i looked at him..can sae eyes met ba..he quickly looked away lik nth happened..lik he wasn lookin at mi..sound lik i shuo bhb rite..burt tad was e truth.. n tad was e ******* ** ****..ai yar..i oso dunnoe y i liddat burt i oso felt tad he wen trainin becox ** **..dunnoe y..its lik dere smth sum1 dere tellin mi dis..n im reali wonderin if he reali does...

aniwae..we wen j8 n i can cal jenny mummy lei..!!!...hahhaha..dunnoe y shuo happi..mayb becox of 2 incidents todae ba..jenny-mummy!..hhaha ..n him..burt 1 sad ting ish becox he clas change le..no longer beside my clas..haix shuo sad..always smth gd n smth bad..life's nort smooth-sailin har i guess..

im mishin euu..n i nid an ans..plx

ware's my otha bloggies??

2005-05-21T05:34:00.000-07:00

ware's my otha past month's bloggies?..SHIT! ware r dey?? cannot afford lose dem lar...SHIT..WTF..

suddenly feel lik havin pool party at nite..or attendin one..n go reali damn wild..haix..sian...i tagged e bootch's blog le..haha..

0oh..-o.r.i.g.i.n.a.l.i.t.y.-

2005-04-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

oops..juz read her blog todae..juz hav one ting to sae.....

SHE'S SUCH A SHAMELESS N IDIOTIC BITCH!

yuppx..tads u..*** *** ****!

*notice i din use e word beach, i used bitch. ORIGINALITY.

hu du i lurrve? i dun exactly noe.....or like

2005-04-23T00:38:00.000-07:00

i'm now caught in a dilema,
my head's spinnin',
dis world sux,
i don giv a damn,
animore.
i'm tired *****
i noe its harder on euu,
but u probably don noe hao i feel,
i don even noe hu i lurrve,
i'm such a loser,
its lik a maze,but's it diferent cos its in e dark,
and i cant even find my own light.
i cant even find my wae out.
i dun even noe ware to step,
i dun even noe hao to continue.
it hard, u noe.
seems lik im shuo damn free.
i've got shuo mani tings to du, to complete, to accomplish,
i've got so mani looks to choose,so mani of dem, to look at.
tads wad u said.
but u dont noe,
dey arent'.
to me, dey're juz a bunch of enjoyment n delight
dey oni go fer looks.
but ur different,
inoe ur true
n i arent playin,
im juz lost.
i dun noe hao to answer to hao mani thousands of ppl out dere,
du i even hav e tym?
dis ish e question tad kips repeatin in my head.
to me, it seems like i dont.
if i could, i would save time in a bottle,
i'll save it up n spent it wif u.
true?
ish it true?
ish my heart reali dere?
fer euu?
e sad truth is-
i don even noe
i don even noe wad i wan,
wad i aim fer
im shuo sori,
so sori........
i don wan to make choices i'll regret,
n hurt e ppl ard mi...

utimately, i'm e one hu'll get hurt e most.

tearxz......

o0ur ackn0wledgEmentS..

2005-04-18T00:22:00.000-07:00

Bef0re i start a long touchiNg lecture, needa giv o0ur team'z acknowledgements...luuRrve dem..

.:--> hu elSe?..o0ur bel0ved cl jenNy..
we were strangers at the beginning..you don noe mi,i don noe u..juz noe tad everytym i c u..muz tiam tiam de..cannot tok..shh-..our yr1 o4 discipline..impression ish tad she always scold us de..everything in tip-top condition..lived in fear under her..hahaxz..don take dis tings to harsh lar..ish our childishness n immature n tad we're nort close to ya shuo tot tad wae..
but as e daes wen by..in our fac live..e "small" n "terrible" life we lived in..u came in wif us n took our fear away..lik a big mother..our mummy..reassurin us wen e eldest(yanlin-1st men) din noe hao to cope wif tings n hao to handle us..n wen we were unhappy lik immature kids angry ova kiddish tings..u came out n solved our problems fer us..takin e tym n effort..we're touched..S.E.R.I.O.U.S..
wihtout u..we couldnt hav gone tad far..AS A TEAM..AS ZHONGHUARIANS.. FOR SCH FOR SELF..we would juz fake as a team..goin in e com but hearts NORT chemically bonded together..e bond n touch were felt..it was as thou tym flew terribly fast n fac ish gone..juz in a blink of an eye..n its gone..e tym u spent wif us was endless..its was ENDLESS n SELFLESS..SELFLESS..u heard tad?..we couldnt hav made it without u..althou u were nort in the team..u were the one who guided us..made us learn..made us improved..make us grow..thinking individually n dealin wif e probs in our everyday life...it wasn easy..it wasn..as a memember i said dis myself.."feeding" five stupid children's mouth everyday..mental challenge n torture ba..as a sec 4, as a teenager, as a senior, ur 0's were impt dan us- dis immature kids..thank you..THANK YOU..we're serious in salutin u..yr effort is 3/4 of the trophy n e glory we brought bac..*cries*..we love you..we really do..because of yr little tiny actions everyday..makes e result we gave todae..its nort an individual but a team's n mentor's effort..*salutes*..thanks..our mentor, our "nanny", our welfare, our discipline,our mummy, our "auntie",our model,our senior,our respected CL, our encourager, our moral supporter..ur roles are endless..in our mind..u'll always b our mother n our respected one..we sincerely thank u for all ur endless time with us, so self-sacrifical n always encouragin us..we couldn hav done it without euu...SERIOUS..i mean BIG business now..deep down in our hearts, our thanks cant be felt nor cannot e depth of the touch can ever be measured..u made us grow up..*tears of joy n gratitude*....

.:ouR siR cALvin-act cUte siA..
heyx! sir! ur bac..shuo loyal..sae put st john first priority..many thanks to u too n glad to hav noe ya..we also wouldn hav brought bac e trophy without ur knowledge n confidence trainin..we love ya!!..ur confidence in brin us up..is veri muc respected..*salutes*..u noe hao to deal wif our mental minds..wonderful..although u couldn come to our trainins often, put e effort u gave n knowledge u tried impartin, ISH VERY(X10)MUCH APPRECIATED..reali..nort kiddin hor.. all ur "wonderful" trainins tad includes--smellin e air of confidence,tastin e ground, singin e sch song, R n R..WOW..im impressed..UR GREAT..n i miss ur trainins..ur one great soul..rmrb tad..thanks dude..thanks SIR!..

.:our Mr gAvin lEe-wonderFUl siR-t'chEr
he spent many nights waitin fer us n drivin us home..u needin buy us aniitng..ur alredi doin more than wad u shud du..waitin fer us everydae..drivin us home to prevent ani complaints..spendin ur tym wif us..bearin wif our irritatin parents..spendin money on us..being dere fer us..ur more than wad makes a t'cher..u hav outstandin qualities n unique carin tad goes out of e box..we thank u..as a team fer the over -bearin concern n care u gave us selflessly n ur responsibility ish damn respected..T.H.A.N.K.S...thanks fer bein dere wen we needed u..in terms of complainin..welfarin..jokin n playin..or drivin us to certain places..we thank n love u..U ROCK T'CHER!..

.: ouR 0ct chU wen-sgu0 damn kuTe de!
oct chu wen ish damn kute de..knowledge bank..strict at times..kute at most..ur wonderful coz u imparted shuo muc knowledge to us n took us seriously..ur our source of motivation..jia u on ur studies!!..come n see us regularly!..THANKZZ!

.:to All o0uR deArest nC0's hu heLped uS in a way oR othA..u guYs makE a diFferENce..
thanks..ur r great..we oso needa help fr ur n couldn hav done dis without ur..for all ur tym n effort in comin to train us..dey r acknowledged..thanks..seriously..if we go on thankin liddat..it'll neva end..seriously..althou ur might hav been too busy to come n train us due to ur studies..we stil vv muc REALLY THANK UR FER THE EFFORT UR PUT IN..at least nort forgettin us..REALLY N SERIOUSLY..thank you..ur make a diff in us..helpin us to improve as beta ppl, nurses, cadets..THANKS to all..WO MEN AI NI MEN!!

--->e bond was felt, the gratitude can never be measured.THANKS.<---

--->lifE ish n0rt abouT achiEvements,iTs abo0ut relati0nshiPs.<---

our dae-16 april 2005- e trophy..

2005-04-17T00:04:00.000-07:00

16 April 2005

16 April 2005- e day of pride, a day of joy, a day of results, the day of happiness and respect..
It came. The compeition came. E day we promised to get bac e champion. That shiny trophy..e pledge..e respect..e promise..

mornin 7 am- cl jenny's huse..our dearest mum..she shuo damn nice.. uni check in her huse..boots was reali shiny n i freaked out...luckily cl eliza help mi polish..omg..thx goodness.. den we kept busy busy n busy..polish belt..iron uni..put rank..check beret.. bun hair..increase e gel..pins n more pins...den u noe wad?..cl jenny feed mi porridge!!! shuo shweet..i shuo touched until i wanna cry le..sum may find it childish burt u noe wad?!..she don mind goin throu all dis lor..SHE D ON MIND! OMG SHE RAWKZ!..den she even sae i guai u noe aft 1 mouth..ish nort i dun noe hao to eat..its bcos rushin vv busy prepare uni..n cl eliza!!..live ao far yet cum down so early!! U RAWK 2!! thx shuo muc..u brought flowers too..thx..den every1 rushin..pack pack..change change..toilet n more toilet..chop chop..n hurriedly wen off le..late fer han's car..thx to her dad too!!! thx fer waitin fer us..den sat at e bac..n we're lik squeezin n cl jenny n eliza sacrificed n wen take cab wif michelle..thx..on e wae..we tok, discussed wad da do..read first aid bk..n dao le..omg..

stupid mi..left hp in car..den gt out..met sir calvin..omg..look at e hq..my com dae..e place dere our results would b shown..revealed..crucial place..took a DEEP HUGE breath...saw fellow squadmates n yr1s dere le..heart..throb..beat..even faster..den dey giv us support..love dem..sir calvin..cum out le..make us close our eyes..right fist place on chest..n..sing e sch song in chi..WOW..shocked..forgot e lyrrics n rhythem..hahha..stupid rite?..tads wen e fear begins..we walked in wif e confidence n style..juz lik wad cl eliza said..yuppxz..n a few mins ltr, yanlin picked us as NC5..steward Kelly Lim..she quite kute..haha..den we all settled down according to places..NC5 was in e middle..n u noe wad?..nanyang was NC4..haha..muachaha..we're shuo fated..dae hi to nanyang..shuo shweet sit beside us..*diao!*..den 5 mins liddat.. we all fall in..get ready fer parade..look up smart..beret good..n we were all lookin up..saw sir calvin,benjamin, otc candy, jeslin upstairs..n..dey were all lookin at us..i looked up..looked bac at dem..nanyang was standin beside us..haha..uni check was conducted by commsioner ba..or wadeva sir..proceeded bac in aft fallin us out..

first was first aid case..we forgot to put our casualty in recovery position aft treatin her..e casualty had hysteria n suddenly faint..cardia arrest..accessin scene...scary sia..den we filled in casualty report..hhaha..n tad bloody casualty..sickenin n idiotic..she noe hao to act as casualty nort?..kip wakin up fr her act n scold us sae we kip makin her laugh..wah lao..e judge said we did nort bad..wel done..n i saw our juniors, seniors faces..esp jenny's..omg..i was shiverin rather..nervous mar..den proceeded bac..

"NC5 footdrill..go to e carpark back.." mdm charlene(nort sure her name)said.heart started throbbing..juz nw heard nanyang's 1st men shoutin shuo loud..third floor can hear..we marched dere..head's up..hands JERK! with force..e one n only tad pays all our efforts..e one n only..e sir-timekeeper brought us over..den we started"sato, duo ,pillang, ummpah,lima, SIR!"..haha..den yan lin reported..n e sir did a uniform check on us..we werent told..n we din noe..until tad point of tym..haha..everyone wen:"gd mornin' sir!" n salutes..e sir din look friendly..but aniwae..heads up..steward n reserve fal out..n we started..at e beginnin..bay-lock tad tym,..i made a mistake..rong hand..i new it..i was listenin hard to e timin..n i did rongly..nort once burt twice..OMG..I SUX..burt comments were tad our dressing damn neat..hands together..heads got jerk..i could jerk tad tym cos bun hair mar..if nort..head lik swinging liddat..rather ok ba..shuo damn nervous tad if dressin nort in line..den aft tad march off le..bac into e room..i could remember han sayin:"pak meng wad u doin?! rong hand!" n i was lookin into belina's eyes..jenny n eliza?..were takin fotos of us..haix..memories..we proceeded bac n evaluated among ourselves..n i almost cried..i din mean it..to make 2 mistakes..han lar..tok unitl i scared tio..but cannot cry in front of nanyang..dry tears everything..ten mins ltr..suddenly.."NC5 home nursin..get ready"..omg..suddenly..yes mdm le den went outside le..saw joanna or xue ni or caren dey all waitin n lookin out fer us..heart beat faster..wen inside waitin room n saluted..everything started..we got e info-woundcare,bedmakin,tpr..so i did tpr first aft intro-ing ourselves..n i did rongly..missed out sum steps!!...omg..until yan lin sae den i rmrb..brainwash..but in e end mdm sae tpr taken vv well so oki wif mi..hhee..den everyone down dere doin..i nothin du so kept cleanin cupboard..dey sae i look busy..i was lik:"some1 cum tok to mi!!..omg..du wad??!!"..n i tok to patient..brief her on diets..nid more proteins she..haha..din noe mdm heard..she sae nort bad but xcept for hygiene n sterildilty...

den we finished all our compeition stuff le..aft us NC4 wen fer home nurse was shit..results were comin out..

"the best leader award which in fact was very high, scoring a point of 9, is...NC5!!!"" wow..i cried u noe..funny rite..NC5..ish tad us?..hhaahha..yanlin kept laughin..bez leader award..both bois n gurls..ambulance n nursin..hhaha..

"n the champion goes to.........NC5!!!"..omg..NC5?..was it realli us?..us emergin us champions n nanyang second..wo men ku le..touchin rite..tears of joy..e story was liddat

WE ARE C.H.A.M.P.I.O.N.S., IN OURSELVES AND FOREVER. FOR SCH,FOR SELF.

n e story continues wif us celebratin...me lee ***** us..n we read our speech..e speech we rote durin waitin tym..we saluted n cried..o yar, mummy-cl jenny cried..touchin..happy..champs..efforts..

---tearxx..memories tad last foreva---

damn tired sia..tink im gettin old..stamina'a droppin

2005-04-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

dan tired bloggie..put short posts here since dun go online often..fac com comin..3 more daes..u hear mi?!!!..JUZ THREE MORE DAES!..lets juz all work n pay bac everyone's efforts..lets nort b scared cos we're goin as a team..havin each otha..lets b prepared..:go wif confidence, leave wif style..yuppz..tads wads eliza tot aquarius..thx cl jenny..we owe u too muc..plz dun neglect n drop ur studies..tokin bout studies..argh..tad bloody t'cher..kip pointin us out..asshole..tmr lit test..confirm fail..AGAIN..haiix..dun wan it liddat..neva even study fer it..wad ta du..tired..gonna du bit of polishin of boots den of to bed..haiix...shuo unfair..tests clashes wif com week..oour most impt week..asshole dis sch..

-->du wad ur suppose to du todae..complete wad othas sae u cannot.<--

-->mishin him, lovin him, always, constantly<--

fac c0min! damN scAred nia!

2005-04-10T00:18:00.000-07:00

dis few daes..hav been trainin real hard..shuo muc effort put in to it..shuo muc pain..shuo muc hatred..shuo muc endurance..shuo muc bearing..shuo muc tirin given..shuo muc exploration done..shuo muc shuo muc shuo muc..damn..tired..sick..but e dae gonna cum n i cant nort giv a damn..in fact..i care...if i wanted to give up..would hav done tad long ago..rite...yea..stil commited to it..i guess shuo ba..i don reali mind..tad's wad's impt..hurtz a lort u noe..all e tym..all e facts..ic we've grown up..in each n every individual way of ours..tad we're a team..tad we're as one..shuo muc tings..shuo little tym..buildin each otha's weakness, confidence n motivation up..burt studies..lik shit sia..cant find e tym..e tredness in mi..sumtimes i reali wish..i'll neva wake up..live in e world of dreams n darkness..i'll fall into dis neva endin pit n continue sleepin on..neva wake up..neva..n if i eva wake up..wanna b in heaven..no worries..no nth..juz kip on sleeepin..e dae will cum..our most impt dae..our most unique dae..e dae we noe wad we get upon all our effort..e tym we wasted..e dae tad will tell EVERYTHING...

--->if dey can du it, so can i. i'll b strong n stand on my own.<---

--->wo ai ni, yao xiang xin<---

shuo confused, shuo tired n everything

2005-03-29T11:48:00.000-08:00

tired lar..wad can i du?..bloody hell..lost e paper..saw wad kind of fren she was..lik tad kind gt prob den cum "act" nice cos nod ur help...simple plan shuddup ish e one men..enuff fer her acts le..she noes it..n i noe it too..shuo muz fer bein nice..after she "tried" to take away almost everything of mine..those major things..sick n tired of her..her givin mi probs..lik nw wad?..we're shuo damn awkward..NOW..u hapi nw norT?..shuo muc fer u..i dun trust u..i dun trust u AT ALL..u get it?..u tink i neva sae aniting means wad?..i giv in..i diam diam?..ur takin my tings fer granted..U HAVE BEEN..fer one yr..one yr olreadi..u dun wanna change dun sae ur e patheic one..get it?..NORT LIK WE'RE NORT GIVIN U ANI CHANCE..no more lik- NORT LIKE WE NEVA GAVE U ANY CHANCE!..u u n u..neva nort u..yar..i noe we're nort in a perfect world..but ur world is handled by u..don put e blame on other people..get it?..reflect on yourself..
don cum out wif ani tricks behind mi bac..im ritin here bcos i wanna tel u k?..sherry..i stil care fer u kkaex?..ani probs can u PLZ tel mi..aniting oso can sae de..its lik wad..im tellin u everything..but ur nort tellin mi a single ting..i mean wads happenin in ur life..du i noe? du i?..inoe dis com ish gettin mi crazy n u mite tink i neglected u..but seriously..i care n love fer u kkaex?.. its lik vv insecure u noe..tad ting..tad ting u share..HURTS MI..i dun seem to care rite?..but, sori..i actuallly du..n i du A LOT..everytime i c it..one stab..one scare..pain..its lik ur walk pass not knowin eachin otha liddat..but actually ur du noe each otha n r "friends"..as in ur r communicatin..like..like wad..spies?..hypocrites?..hurtz u noe..yar ur may nort noe..n u tink i dun care...BUT I DU! IT HURTS MI A LOT! *tears n anger n hatred*..
since u noe im gonna be angry. hurt, hatin u..u stil continue dis?..wad fuch ish tad?...actin nice?..sayin let mi hate u beta den hate her..CUM ON!..talk ur ass rite!..u will noe hao i feel rite..DON U ITNK UR GOIN TOO FAR? FAR TOO FAR?..u noe ill hate u..b4 tad ting started..ive alreadi ren, ren n ren..uve gone to e xtreme!..hate u!..backstabbers everywhere..u, u, u n u!

*haix..sick n tired..hao's tmr gonna b lik? -tears-.........*

songxz..mishin u

2005-03-21T00:49:00.000-08:00

i neva had a dream cum true
until e dae tad i found u
even thou tad i pretend tad i moved on
u'll always be my baby
i neva found e rite words to sae
ur e one i tink bout each dae
even thou tad i pretend tad i moved on
u'll always b..my baby..

you make mi wanna call u in e middle of e nite
u make mi wanna hold u till tmr nite
u wanna make mi love
u make mi wanna fall
u make mi wanna surrender my soul
u noe its jux a feelin tad i jux cant fight
ur e first n last ting on my mind
u make mi wanna love
u make mi wanna fall
u make mi wanna surrender my soul

baby i love u
n ill neber let u go
baby i nid u
n i'll neva let u go

i'll b e hero you've been dreamin off
i'll e knight hu would fight fer ur honour
all fer e glory of love

*i mish u darlin n i love u tooxz..muackz*

dead tired

2005-03-21T00:42:00.000-08:00

haiix..dead tired..lik dead meat liddat..vv tired..vv sick of all dis probs..tings neva done..haiix..gonna die sooner or later le..muackx..love ya darlin..

yoxz darlin..im bac

2005-03-21T00:19:00.000-08:00

bloggie,im bac
shuo damn tired
cant live dis kind of live animore
e troubles ahead
dey re annoyin
cant i lead a simple life fer once
once i new e results
i new
a whole lort of complicated stuff would start
or appear
i don mind
puttin e effort in dis ting
in dis com
i don mind
i reali don
but i don wan ani unnesscary troubles n stuff animore
e betrayers
e backstabbers
people get tired u c
no one ish foreva tad strong
once dey fall
dey can hardly pick up
ever again
i din ever tink he would sae tad
n he cos him to doubt his love fer mi
wel, vv wel
but i love him
i do
rather sure dis tym round
time to grow up
start movin on
learin tings on n on
every single dae
motivation, encouragement
ware r dey?>
ware hav dey all gone to?
i feel lik ive lost a part of my life without knowin it
my frens
bex fren
clas
cca
life
studies..
dey r neva e same again
2e3 ish neva e same again
dey r gone
our jokers..haha
my bex fren
ish lik its different dis tym round
but i stil love her, she e bex fren i ever new(nortintadkindoflove)
wanna made tad known to her
my clas
argh, look on top
cca?
hmm..champion huh?
den lets nort giv up
juz a little more to go
endurance n perservance
we'll make it thru...=)
studies...
im tryin hard
i don wan dem to be liddat too
believe mi, mum
* tears..*
my lovve life..
i dun noe
i love him
i do
if we ever..
it'll will be a long time
for my side at least => tads wad he said
im sure of it too
it'll b fer a long tym
cos..
i love him too..
i'll b proud to stand nex to u
u noe y..
tads all..
mummy,daddy,jie,mama,sherry,him,frens,cca buddies
i love you all
plz know it...
*tearxz...*

fac team plz jia you!!

2005-03-14T13:30:00.000-08:00

fac nursin team no tym le..plz jia you!!!! mei shi jian le..its tym fer us to buck up le...reali..our standard seriously..ya..droppin..haix....its lik no tym lor..nanyang..i hate nanyang..dey sux!!! WE MUZ GET CHAMPION BAC!!!sick sick n more sick..haix..ambulance team..plz hor..relai no tym stil dere to slack...plz lar..i reali dun c e enthu n the fightin spirit to bri e champiion bac..kip in mind..dun let e seniors down lei..haix dun sae animore..ltr ppl tink i wad..TODAE MI BIRHTDAE!!! YEAH!!! IM 14 YRS OLD LE!! WO ZHANG DA LE!!!..diao*..lame rite mi..todae goin out wif jer glor kel n ting..shuo sad sherry cannot cum..mi bez fren!!!..n y she giv mi tad cd ar???..hahaha..thx aniwae..shuo long neva blog le..AMBULANCE N NURSIN JIA YOU!!! MUZ GET BAC CHAMPION!!!!...*sci test confirm fail**both of us r sick of her~ problems-finally she said-"welcum" fer enterin our lives"

haiis

2005-02-23T23:49:00.000-08:00

shuo long neva update le..haiix..shuo damn fuckin shuo mani troubles..here it comes again..dose frenship probs..she's comin again 2 break us up..shuo mani tings dey tok n ****** doesn tell mi de..everytime stickin wif her..kaoz eh..i thx jer fer tad lor..n its true lor..would u mind if u du sum self reflection b4 sayin bac or suanin bac otha ppl?..hate uu lor..gt enuff of u le..owaes gettin in my wae..its lik sherry dun even care or noe..den wen i try 2 tell her or wen she noes..she sae she feel tired bout dis..don u noe tad e prob owaes start fr u?!!..fcuk off!...shuo tired of u..my fault my fault..evrytime my fault..evryting ish my fault my prob..i fail oso my fault..yea i noe my fault but fail confirm nort i wan one lor..ass hole..my bloody parents makin mi commit sucuide..neva once in my life du i even hear dem sae -:"i support u" or "jia you, mummy behind u,"..NEVA!..wad parents r dis? evrytime wu hui..lik i wanna fail..lik i wanna b tired..lik my fault fer cumin home late..ill jump down sft fac com..i love sherry ny frens n oso him..he's e one keepin mi alive..sad rite? but true..sj,fac com,him n frens r keepin mi alive...i love him..i hope he knows...

here at shu han's huse ovanite...hehe=)

2005-02-17T01:49:00.000-08:00

yoxxz..shld i sae mornin or nite?..1+ plus liao mar...todae feelin suxz...dunnoe y but cheered up at ah hAn's huse lar...mayb ba'xz...its lik..suddenly giv dis kind of decision, den its lik shock lor..neva xpect de lor..gt tink of tad b4..budden juz doesznt seem rite lor..if we cant work together den wad fer force each otha???!!..i noe mr lee can spent tym bondin but y don we rather spend e tym workin fer the compeition??!!..its lik no tym liao lor...its lik..i juz couldnt accept lor...my heart juz simply drop..i dun mean aniting lik feel ur nort up 2 standard or dun lik u or wadeva..its lik bu xi guan lor..dun wan tings 2 turn out tad wae seriously lor...hu would wan? i noe ms surely wouldnt mind cos dey r gd frrens but dey rest of us dis***** liao lei...i dare oni tel yl hao i feel but nort ms cos i simply cannot tel true feelins bcos mayb she's juz juz 2 close 2 her liao baxz..I REALI REALI DUN WAN TINGS TO TURN OUT DIS WAE LOR!!!!..its bein reali unfair 2 us..we train liao denum tel us 1 of us will b elimated but oni go nex yr..SHUO UNFAIR!!!..can sae i n shu han ish flunk tests blah blah wadeva fer all dis trainin..but i dun mind cos i felt tad it was worth it..but now everything seems rong..everything seems shuo crucial...everytym i go aniware its oso compete here, compete dere, stress here , stress dere..oso enuff of hmk liao lor...its reali beta fer mi if **'re r nort here..i sae dis becos ur mi fren n shld sae true..wad fer ask fer our ** **** wen ur r makin **% of e decision?..i seriously mean no serious or indirect shoot 2 anione..juz sae out my feelins cos DIS IS MY BLOG!!..hate it sia wen i hav 2 scream wen im stressed...its shuo damn sickeninin..i dun feel comfortable workin as a team llor...u even said tad we cant work 2gether..DEN WAD FER????!!...fine i gt no choice...but 2 live wif it...shuo damn tired...dun wan efforts 2 go waste wen u dun get e ting u wan..losing everyting..endin up wif flunkin ur tests..failin ur exams...haix..so damn sick..unfair..ish e word..shuo glad my ma understands mi..use 2 tink she would defintely scold mi den die..but nw..thx god..she's vv understandin..c mi suffer she xin tong..haha..jkjk..shuo glad we're mothers n duaughters..love u mum..*muackz*....

2005-02-10T17:13:00.000-08:00

juz read her blog..sux rite she..she so complacent..dis wouldnt last her..new wad? u new wad?..u wouldnt b in e team if nort fer sum ppl..u n ur stupid *********..tink u shuo gd?..muachahaa..yar rite~..in tad case, im gonna **** n show u wad i can du..shuo wad if i gt bad impression?..ur foreva a hypocrite 2 mi..ill hang on n be strong n show u wads fair n wads unfair..I GONNA B STRONG..haha..u tink ur e oni 1 makin use of dis chance?..cumon'..thz 2 u..u made mi stronger n im gonna hang on more..haahaxz..thz 2 u..*evil smilezz*..ur nort gonna take aniting away fr mi..get it?..nort gonna rite ani more or else i reveal hu i hate n shoot dis person directly!..hahaxz..*evil smiles*..

farkin hell..

2005-02-08T00:09:00.000-08:00

i gettin shuo pissed off..its lik u tink ur e oni one, e pityful one sufferrin, but du u noe dere r otha's out dere sufferin more?..wad e hell r u tryin 2 sae?..if u cant du it den forget it..dun treat u sxperiments..even if i reflect,r u reflectin?..n wad e hell, todae hu u ****** ******* at? 2 tink i supported u..men luckily u made mi relaize early..shit u..fark u..du u even noe tad ur in e rong 2 sae tad?...UR RONG!!..dun sae tings wen u dun even noe e truth..i wasnt even *** ****!..FARK U!..if ur reali wan her 2 get in, i can juz *****,dun nid 2 let mi suffer all tad bloody crap..oki?..FUCK ur Ass..dun wanna rite animore b4 i spoil e com...

_gettin tired n sick of all dis,dun u noe,its juz e beginin?stupid u.._

sjab!!

2005-01-30T20:37:00.000-08:00

fAC results cum out liao:

-yanlin-minshian-jocyelyn-shuhan-mi{nursin'team}
-minthu-terence-jonathan-kiaweng-??{ambulance team}

vv scared lei..2 mths left oni..reali nort muc tym le..hao 2 concentrate on cca n study at e same tym!!!???...hao 2?i vv kia~ lei..scared hmk drop..mama scold..oso dun wan hmk drop mar..nort wantin xin nian cum..cos means nearer 2 com liao..dis yr damn late den decide..haven even confirm positions..si arhx..wan get champion!!..muz get champion!!...everytym tink bout it..jiu yao trainin..muz practice n practice!..geog test si liao..confirm fail de..11 chapters!! wan eat off my head!..mr lee teach lik jet plane..1,2,3 n end chapter liao..tml eng test, dun even noe wad 2 du..test wad..hate tad bloody fuckin **** ****..tink she bloody damn **** den fine lar..u tink i wan tings 2 turn dis wae izzn't?..ass u..i wish sum1 would juz cum crash ur ******, *** u n make u lost ur ******, den ur bf won wan u ani more..hahaa..muachahaha..actually tot u nort bad, but bcos of e blame, i tink u sux now..ass u..kip wearin ******* clothes, juz wake up ar?..piang eh...dun tok bout her..now i wan drill!!!..wanna practice fer com liao..aniting oso dun wan tink or care..love..juz put aside lor..haix..no tym le..muz finish compo..cya! -****'s sux fer their neva endin hmk!

wad m i tinkin now?

2005-01-14T23:45:00.000-08:00

haix..shuo damn tired lor..brain nort functionin well..haix..short one here..tml goin sam's huse do pw n geog den swim..haix..muz train fer muscles le..hehe..gt le lar...aniwae..hao's life?..m i stupid??askin dis quest to mua bloggie..told ya..brain nort functionin well le..i miss trainin!!..dose wonderful memories..trainin camp..games dae..fac trainin..campfire..u noe wad??!! I HATE E BLOODY SEC 1'S!...ass hole..lik i love my prob liddat..lik as if i wan it liddat..as if i wan to choose 2 b liddat de..WAD CAN I DO??!!..life juz shuo unfair fer mi lor..yuan wang lor..f-u-c-k lor..i noe my prob..shuo wad??..wad can i do?..y muz i face dis kind of prob??..argh!!..i hate myself!!fuckin bloody sec1's!argh!..if dey dun learn..wad can we do?..dun learn of cos use hard approach lar!.. no choice!..we'll DEFINETLY get implicated de..f-u-c-k!..tired...2 tired 2 rite..go orh orh le..nitex..

yoxxz blogiie..scH start lia0 lor..siAn..

2005-01-12T16:37:00.000-08:00

sch start liao le lar..cant go out animore..shuo fuck lor..second dae of sch den giv hmk liao lor...zhss t'chers damn kan jiong man..jkjk..hehe='x..shuo sianx..evrydae..cum home,do hmk,watch tv, eat,slp n tads all...shit..SHUO SHIT..ltr goin cut hair..ask hairdresser dun cut shuo short..hehe..i rather bun my hair durin cca budden nort tie hair in sch lor..miss long warn mi liao..bun hair in cca vv ma fun one lei..ltr change parade lik dun noe wad liddat..hair ltr shuo messy..budden bun hair far neater..wear beret short hair nort nice lei..i seriously feel tad itx nort nice lor...shit ass lar..wad takin bus den heard one sec1 tel his bro?fren? wadeva den he join sj lei..haha..i sort of pity dem..dey lik shuo innocent..dunnoe trainin ish hard de..muz learn 2 endure n bear..but dey will c e wonderful fruits de lar..aft trainin camp..aft fac trainin..haha..hope dey nort slacker..n learn fr evry punishment or else we cham le..under ms dey all lei..quite afraid lei..yl tad time juz shout fer a while i scared liao..nort sae reali scared..ish shocked..lik everyy second liddat..sure die de..bet willl hav a lortx of change parade de...FUCK..damn it..haix..stil kip tinin we're yr1s..we're sec1s..sec1 life rawkxz!!!..dun wanna grow up..

:"So if we get the big jobs
n we make big money
When we look back now
will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learn in
sch? Still be tryin 2 break every single rule?
Will litle brainy Bobbybe the stockbroker man?
Can we eva find a job that won interefere wif
a tan? i keep, i keep thinkin that it's nort
gdbye..
Keep on tinkin its a time to fly..
N dis ish hao it feels.."

:'' i can slay,my own dragon
i can dream, my own dream
my knight in shinin armour is me
so i'm gonna set mi free"

wad a fuckin new yr yea...

2005-01-02T22:15:00.000-08:00

haix..a whole new yr..a whole new yr..i dun c it..a WHOLE,NEW yr..it came at e rong time lor..e bloody killer waves killed everybody's mood..wtf..shuo unfair..seriously i dun look forward to a new yr lor..oni lookin forward to chi new yr so can go shoppin fer new clothes..more troubles, more stress, more hmk..i seriously dun wan 2 b under ms lor..i *** **** her liao lor..pissed off by her sum times..but wad can i sae?..she's dm rite..RITE..higher rank than mi, of cos cannot sae aniting lar..but she's a nice person i noe..juz tad her attitude nort rite..nice gurl,wrong attitude..nvm..shant sae aniting..ltr further trouble..t ye zhen she de..stil lik a dog chan zhe ta..cant she c tad ms annoyed..stupid lar..fine..dun sae aniting betta..NC1 BEST GRP! yea!..our 1 hr of slp neva waste away..heng ar..fine, if dey dun believe or wad shuo eva, its nort my business or aquarius's business..dey can recount e points as long as dey wan...but e fact ish we've won..if ur dun wanna belive..ur might as wel giv her e champion,best grp,best in first aid,best in home nurse...everything giv her..dun even needa compete le..wad fer compete if e attitude iah nort rite?..waste of our time..dun wanna let us win or belive we win den dun cum tok crap or lecture us crap if ur dun hav rite atti.,...fine fine..sj stil rawkz oki..tml sch reopen le..wah lao..fuck..fuckin mum..fuckin hmk..fuckin!!..everyting seems shuo suck now, i dun wan sch 2 reopen..haix..leavin dreams high up..

haix...wad am i reali tikin?

2004-12-23T22:10:00.000-08:00

izzn't stress i feel or e coldness ard mi? sum times i feel shuo stress tad i nid a strong shoulder 2 lean on..nort stress..juz..-cold? i lik walkin along in e cold evenin..den feel e cold breeze blowin against or on mi wen i walk home aft trainin..even thou..i feel tired..or my legs wanna drop..wad ish it i'm missin in my life?..ish e love i'm missin? i noe i rejected n i cant head bac..even if i can, i wun cos..i'll feel i owe u 2 muc..i cant possibly juz head bac n sae im sori n start renew..dere stil sumting dere..e bitterness neva uncovered..shuo sad shuo sad..i cant breathe ani more..FAC, FAC, FAC,...trainin, trainin, trainin,..SJ, SJ,SJ..all of my life i'll b devoted 2 it..yesh..but e pressure ish ovawhelmin..its e work, n cca tad kips mi busy,...so cant tink aniting..sad sad..tinkin 2 muc i cant rite..i nid a slow pace life..

haix..shuo stressed

2004-12-22T18:57:00.000-08:00

haix..shuo stressed..do i wan go FAC? first men, second men, third men or fourth men do i wanna b?..parents objections.. cant dey support mi?..dey kip givin mi stress..i noe studies nw most impt de..i try my best to study one lor..i oso hav my aims..stop stressin mi can nort?..cum home shuo tired, stil scold mi..lik i go out play liddat..plz lor...thx ya fer helpin mi oki??..but plz plz don giv mi stress...can?..i look at my seniors, e NCO'S..i c dem shuo stress.. dey dun sae, i oso can c n noe...dey look tired, exhausted..dey plan dis, plan tad fer us, hao nice of dem..dey hav no holidaes at all lor..so one dae, wen i bcum nco..wil i b lik dem?..mayb i tink 2 far ahead budden im goin sec2..more stress, more hmk, more crap..bloody streamin..wanna b first men muz learn b calm, make decisions fast, quick-witted..my seniors muz hav xperience a lort more den us..goin all e wae fr sec1-FAC-sec3-gradutes soon..muz thx dem..sec2s pass out le..a new batch of NCOs r goin 2 born soon..more initative, more endurance, more examples..tads wad we gonna show..muz make sure yr1s goin 2 b more bonded..yup..tads wad we intend do..bond every1..yr 1s hor..lets make it possible..show e ncos we can do it..aniting ish possible..lets endure..do our best fer wadeva happens..fer e upcomin yr 2..haix..all tad trainin makin my body ache all ova..hao lei..die..later cant move fast..betta heal todae!!..px our next yr 2 i/c..tym fer mx 2 graduate..hahaxz..tym flies..later its our turn..den we retired..haha..first studies, second cca den third ish bgr relationships ba..no choice..or do i hav a choice?..wads life?..i don get it..bein dedicated?..devoted?..i guess its juz lik tad ba..

:''sumtimes i feel lik cryin but
e tears juz wun cum, nort a single
one drops..but e heart remains achin..
will we b lik b4?..or ish it juz a memory?
tad wun get away or m i juz imaginin?"

wah..manage to change my bloggie skin le..shuo ma fun

2004-12-14T12:15:00.000-08:00

yesterdae gt glor n ying help mi den can change blog skin de..shuo ma fun...stil dunnoe hao to do lortz of tings yet..lik change the interests, make links, add color to words liddat lar..nid glor's help..but nvm..next tym den do lar..oso dun go into tis kind often so of cos i dunnoe a single shit..hehee..XD'..ooh..heard fr min shian tad dey stil hav ta go thru theory exam den can pass as nco's le..0_o''....ooh..shuo mani tings..haix..todae sae we doin fac lei..smth lik triage liddat..wah lao..patheic..shuo late ask as go du these..shuo vv werid..but i hope end late..den can go home late late lar..i lik it lei..wanna go east coast again..but hu can go wif mi???...enjoy e view until at nite..lets hav anotha e3 party..woah~..hav fun till midnite den go home..budden muz finish all hmk first lei...muz hardworkin liao le..goin 2 bcum sec2..haix..one last yr fer e3..gonna b a hard one..haix..gonna start workin hard again..hu wanna go countdown party???!!!!lets go enjoy ourselves lei..go hav fun..but bet alort of ur cannot le..wana pierce anotha ear hole but bet my ma wun allow..tis thurs goin out wif jer dey all oso neva tell her..i wanna go out early go home late late tad type..next yr shuo busy, comfirm dun hav tis kind of tym le..muz nw holidae play lik siao..haix..wanna take lortx of neoprint, buy lortx of clothes, accesoriess, new sch baggie...pierce earhole,dye hair..wah..go out oso nid $$ eat rite?..den nid ard 100+ lei..dun wanna spend ani more $ le lei..broke liao..haix..e most ish go acct take $ lor..but take one tym , will take anotha tym...bad habit..dun wanna start..haix..shuo mani probs, shuo little tym....

heyx..todae yr 2s will pass out as ncos le..woah!~

2004-12-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

woah~ woah~! todae yr 2s will pass out as ncos le wor...haha..camp todae end rite?..bet dey all vv happi..wish all of dem well..xD..bet dey damn tired ba...haix..sad sia..dey next yr sec3, we sec2..gotta get scoldin fr dem..yanlin esp serious wen trainin de..haix..ken ting bu hao guo..hehe='p..todae gt 6A pri sch small gatherin..den aft tt gt go library return bks..haix..sian lei..tml gt cca..5pm..shuo late..wonderin wads gonna happen...haix..so sian..e feelin ish juz shuo cold lor..n sad..oni he can cure it but hu's e he?..dreamt bout us..tad we shared smth special..but hu exactly r u?..juz shuo mysterious lor..

short post here!

2004-12-08T23:34:00.000-08:00

oki oki..no time le..short post here...tues mi jer n ting go out..watched polar xpress n took neoprints..hhahaxz..neoprints vv funny..du hmk shuo hard..watch movie shuo cold lor...dunnoe hao dey operate e machines de..polar xpress damn short dis movie..hmm...j8 suddenly open shuo mani shops..den mit more n more ppl le...haix..wanna go out again n take more neoprints..wanna go orchard lei..until at nite..budden ting's parents surely wun allow de..haix...wan go orchard!!! hu can go wif mi?...bloody weather, kip rainin..spoil moods..wanna go east coast again lei..but..juz look at e blody weather n we'll noe lor..neva 1 dae dun rain..haix..oki gd..juz set..next tues goin orchard..wif frens..hehee..cant wait take neoprint!!..hehee..no lar..gtg..bbuaix n takire!!=X..*love ish wad one awaits*..

i'm realli reali sori bloggie..i neglected u..reali S0RI

2004-12-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

im shuo shuo damn sori my dearie bloggie...i 4got bout u, neglected u...will try nw updatin u nw n den...shuo damn sori...haix shuo scared lei...holidaes gonna end le...haix..bloddy hell...feel lik movin out lei..live n stand on my own...sometimes shuo sick of my parents...juz let dem fuck up ba..haix..wanna go out everydae but im nort allowed!!..freak..nvm ba..tml goin out le...wanna take lortx n lortx of neoprints..tml's event den tml sae ba...lost my love..lost everyting ba..nw love doesn mean aniting 2 mi le lar..juz feelin a part of mi empty..if oni someone could fill it..but hu ish tad person?..juz shuo sick n tired of bein restrained..life ish so damn borin n sian nw..wana kip goin out..watchin movies, partyin, wanna sit at e beach fer e whole dae..haix..gd news ish tad trainin camp ish ova le..can slack all i wan le..hhahaxz..all my fears ova le..hhaax..had fun n fear..hhaaha..nth muc 2 sae..goin out le lar..juz kip livin!!='p

s0ri, my deAr bl0gGie...

2004-10-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

shuo sori...neva update veri long le..jux takin some tym out to rite 1 post..now exam period mar.muz study hard le..i wanna score 5A1's again..muz keep up the standard worxz...haha...stress sia..budden fer mi own gd..my own benefit..cant wait fer exams to b ova...can finally relac le lor..dere will b shuo muc tym 2 slack n relac lor..so as well study hard now n it'll pay off..tads bein cleva....haha...she tink she vv mature..o-men...plz..so fuckin...she dunoe hao 2 tink ish more lik it larhx..no brain..oni noe hao 2 1 part...dunnoe e otha part..useless larhx...poor ting worx..i c her *****, i wanna laugh le..e prob izzn't whether she wanna hav nort, ish whether hu wan 2 hav it wif her..haha..muachahaha..i'm juz tad evil..coz i dun tink she deserve tis..all e love and tots...she takez it fer granted..1 great big fuckin dedicated n tad suit her- P.A.T.H.E.I.C...okay...dun wanna tok bout her le..frenwship..i scare e prob cums again..at first..we were gon stable...close again..den nw cums J n S..nt sae dun wan dem....defintely nt liddat de....haix..i n J, Sh n S..short term can...budden long term..i n Sh surely die de....sum times i feel tad i n Sh are missionaries liddat..goin around helpin ppl..its gd..but gradually e prob will b lying btween ourselves....sad sad sad..nvm..will try mi best durin holidaes..e best method is 2 face it n daring 2 do it..takin e xtra mile or a further step..haix...tads e truth..muz go study le...o yar...n to D..i dun dare 2 tel u tis..juz hope u can read tis... i dun dare 2 agree coz i scare u'll b e next 1..next victim..i dun wan tis 2 happen..dun wanna hurt ani1 n miself 2 le..i dun noe..an equation tad can neva b solved: complicated realtionships + stress + tired + confused+ blur+ scared = ans? e prob ish i dun even noe...scared of e future..

i hate u , i hate u S

2004-09-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

men i hate u S i hate u, u fuckin bitch....keep tryin to steal or snatch mi best fren away...u noe hao J feel?..she oso almost hav e same feelin as mi..we both hate u ..u fuckin bitch..ur lik a disguise..tryin 2 break mi n Sh up..in oe it..cant u feel it..cant u feel ur breakin us up..stop tryin 2 act innocent n sae u don feel shuo..don tel mi u don feel ani ting...leave mi n Sh alone..we hav our own world..n u don blong dere...u get wad i sae?..1 dae..1 dae...i'm goin 2 tell tis rite in2 ur face..when u piss mi off n when e timin is rite..u betta nt hurt J ani more..go n reunite wif..u were wif her last tym..n now ur changin it..wad u tink u r?..a princess?..can change ani ting u wan?..fuckin bitch..don sae i nv warn u..i've been keepin it in mi heart fer vv long le..u n J, i n Sh..fine?...don ignore J okay?..take mi words fer real..watch out..bitch..slut..asshole..

yoxxzz..sorri shuo long neva update..muz study le!!

2004-09-18T02:17:00.000-07:00

okie...sorri larhx..shuo long neva update mi blog..muz study fer exams mar..sori lar..okie try 2 make up..dun noe y nowadays com gt prob liddat..gt rite 1 blog but kanna cannot published..hope tis 1 wun...i mish 1e3 bbq tad dae lei..we gt shuo muc fun..lets hold anotha 1 tis yr..ah kel sae make clas t-shirt..k larhz..no prob de..juz tad e clas muz b willin 2 pay..plz lor..work we do lei...those fuckin ass's don fuck n keep complainin..juz pay lar..if u complain n don wanna pay...as wel get out of our clas cos we wun n don welcum u at all hor..cooperate a little can nt?..okie..fine..muz study hard le..put love matters aside..i told him le lei..told him tad i don love him..i new i hurt him..but tads e truth...chang tong bu ru duan tong...he oso hurt mi by his msgs..he sae he cannot forget mi..hao?..i shall help him..we gt it clear tad we r nt enemies le..gd sign..i'm sori 2 him..realli sori..zhen de..xiang xin wo..wo bu nen gei ni kuai le..i cant giv u happiness..i wun apologize le..sae some more will break down de..sori..n to D..sori..i don wan 2 b wif u..thx fer understandin..thank you..u told mi 2 follow mi heart..so..i listened 2 u le..sori sry..to eugene..cheer up ba...let bygones b bygones..u said u will de mar..i believe u can n im oso lik u..learnin n givin up 2..haha..best buds..haix..i feel lik a fool waitin fer dreams to cum up.."dreams r juz dreams when dey come to light..." tis sentence shuo damn true..mi imagination is juz lik a dream..neva gonna cum true..neva..even if it is..its alreadi ova..muz learn 2 let go..learn..truth hurtz..reality hurts 2..i wish i was in e dream n neva wake up again..eva..it hurts shuo muc i don eva wanna c him again..mi neva endin story....

holidae shuo damn sianz...haix..gt shuo mani projects n cant go out..men tis sux!

2004-09-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

men..cant go out...i mean its veri de damn hard 2 b able 2 go out xcept fer projects n cca..mum's lockin mi up..=(..boohoohoo...she keepin close eye on mi..den cannot go out lor..=(..i wan 2 go out!!go out shop....go wild wild wet, gym, repair mi hp..o yar o yar..muz go repair n ask fer permission fer upgradin..c i shuo guai..hahas..bhb...jk lorxz...veri de borin lei holidaes..nth 2 do xcept hmk 24 hrs a dae..boohoohoo..i yeshterdae told him le...i tink i gt it clear wif M..hahs..burden off le..happi happi..=)..dunnoe whether it hurt his heart..nvm..later go ask him..we'r juz frens..shuo veri happi...made tings clear..men..I WANNA GO SHOOPIN..tings-to-do list:- go shoppin, go gym, go swimmin..repair hp..far east plaza...go watch cinderalla story, 13 goin 30 n anaconda..budden broke le n no tym..cant always tink go out cos muz study fer exam mar..haix..muz study hard..show mum i can do it..haix..stress....pressure..haix..todae 6A gatherin..pri sch de..men we rawkz..6 Agape rox..we always hold gatherin when holidae de..haix..played soccer, badminton n captain ball ba...none of us changed xcept fer some..either puberty or ermx..dun noe lei..act cool?..yea mayb..eva growin more chio le ar..more feminine..hahas..she ar bomb mi fren's bike n mi fren kanna scolded..haha..mizz our past clas..present clas oso rawk..haix..tmr dunnoe if watchin movie..haix..damn tmr gt tution..cant stay out long..wanna go watch movie..budden dun wanna tell mi mum..budden later she suspect..den lie oso feel bad..haix..cannot b bad gurl..dey put trust in mi..den oso muz score gd marks show dem..let dem b happi..haix..all e stress sia..MUZ STUDY HARD WORZ!! JIA YOU WORZ!! muz get wad 2 promised!try ba..or shld i sae its a muz..

todae ish a sad dae cos sum1 in 1e3 ish leavin..sad sad..

2004-09-01T16:16:00.000-07:00

sad...sad...sum1 in 1e3 is leavin..jin kai..dun leave larx..let 1e3 b united fereva..united till e end..dun leave ba...14 more mins..e flight will take off le..cant go airport..ma dun allow..asshole..i wish whole of 1e3 would b dere..every1 would cherish each of us..happi endins..=)..=(..i bet jk oso veri sad..i bet he missed her..den later he cry fer 1e3..i wanna go..e whole of 1e3 dere..start e bbq again..y din we eva cherish each otha?..haix..now we'r regrettin..no body wans..eva 2 regret..lik mi..givin up at e rong time..(not referrin to jk obviously)...i gave up at e rong time n tad hurt mi..realli hurt...tad time i was unsure whether 2 giv up not..not im sure..realli sure..im gonna convince mi self 2 giv up..remind mi self e actions tad hurt mi...everytime i hear ani sad song i would tink of him..i noe im cheatin mi self, lyin to M, cheatin him...but i cant hide e feelins in myself ani more..i cant help him....i wanna scream,shout,yell n stop mi self fr hurtin n sinkin ani deeper..it'll hurt more..i love him...hao?..i don wan..i noe mi self..i still love him..cant stop tad feelin..i noe mi self..it doesn juz end dere..:"juz scream it out..""i'll b e last 1 standin, juz let it out.." i dun lik M, juz love him as a fren..realli..zhen de..des ask mi as well break..e ting is i don even noe if he tink we r stead..i shld hav told him when he asked tad question..juz tad outbox too full..i tot we were nt..but now it seems to mi tad he tiks we r..i'll hurt him more in e future..i noe he cant take it..it hurts mi to c him hurt..cos dere's a little feelin dere..i noe its rong fer mi 2 do tad..ARGH!!..dere shuo mani tings fer mi to tink of, clear,...AGRH!1..shuo mani tings 2 do..but i still love him..hao?..cant change it.."it all depends on feelins lor.."=>tads wad e fucker said..fer once i agree wif him..yesh..it depends on it...7 mths le..i still cant get my mind off him..i dun wanna b lik T..waitin fer 2 yrs..i noe i cant get it shuo i'll giv up rather den hang on, wastin mi time n hurtin mi self deeper..i won b tad stupid 2 hang on n WAIT(lik she'll get him)fer 2 yrs..soon he'll b outta mi mind..i promise...*HAPPY TEACHER'S DAE!*

hey bac here again 2

2004-08-31T23:19:00.001-07:00

sori...was readin mi past blogs realized hao touchin dey were..hao true mi love life was..now its bout frens tingy lor..irritating..muz solve dem first b4 solvin mi love probs...cum 2 tink of tad *****..asshole..fuckin ass..den cum 2 tink of S n J n Sh n mi..Sz n J*..now wad?..Sh don even take it seriously n it hurts mi..u noe tad?..n tad asshole..happi fer J n Ch..okie larx..i bet dey oso hav their probs..c she veri troubled..Sh..Sh..Sh...damn tad S..i dun hate her when we r doin work but esp when she cuts in wen mi n Sh tokin..Sh care bout hao she feel lor..she deleted away my whole blog juz not 2 let her c..veri cleva..veri gd..she neva ask hao i feel..yea..rite..she deleted it away cos she oso worried fer mi upon in case lettin her c..budden if i don rite it on mi blog..hao do i eva sae?...wen will e dae cum?..i don even noe if Sh gt tell her.i bet nt..i hate her..hate her 2 e core..snatchin Sh away..now wad?wads happenin 2 us?..to e gals esp..hope Sz n J* won b lik mi n Sh..patch up..patch up ba...forgive each otha..start a fresh life...cherish each otha...okie J*?..wn force u de..budden do try..she needs u ..a lot..u can c it fer urself..i noe hao u feel..hurt..stressed..confused rite?..more lik stressed...argh...it hurtz...Sh...u don care bout mi..u don take waad i sae seriously..u laughed..tads it.

hey bac here again

2004-08-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

men...i neva wan yesterdae to end..i hope it last 4eva so no1 in 1e3 will eva leave..we'll b together, united 4eva..no matter wad e difference is

2004-08-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

kaoz...first tok bout cca..yesterdae flag dae..had mani xperiences...good time,adventure..budden leg shuo damn tiring..suan ar..den e bbq..bathed at eugene's huse first lar..i, sze ting,zoe n terence were e earliest...men..it rawks lor..e bbq...i neva wan it to end...we barbequed..wah..veri de hot..i tried bbqing marshmallows, chicken wings n satay..veri hot...but nvm..veri nice..e we played waterbombs larxx..din realli played..we laid down to tok...din join e3..i, sze ting n shawn n rui hong n zheng yan n zu yao n terence..cant rmrb le lar..i veri de sad..miss him..lik him oso cannot sae..men but i don wan..i wan 2 hate him...forget him..don hav ani feelins fer him..den we went to the pool..slack..larx..were tokin..slackin around..havin fun..den later i n jeryl sat at the edge of the pool..den later kanna pulled into the pool..kaoz..haha..hao fun n nice..now cum to tink of it.is reallli fun..shld hav cherished e moments n times...realli treasure the times..playin in e pool was nice budden water was COLD!!!no lar no lar..i dun hate swimmin..juz an excuse lar..kanna bullied..idiotic idiots..boo blat..idiot...bully mi n jeryl...haha...jeryl climb bac n sat at e end again den kanna push bac into the pool by chun yang...haha..juz bcos i ask her to help mi throw cold water on him..help mi revenge mar..poor ting..haha...poor ting..i lian lei ni le..sori...haix..hao?..till now still cant forget him..listenin to e song makes mi wanna cry...wad's so great bout him?..luckily his not in e3...not in e bbq..i noe i cant n not supposed to lie...but sometimes i juz hav to....sori..sori..sori...forget it....den later e security guard cum n stared at us..den i screamed..sori lar....don noe mar...fuckin lar..den chun yang shouted at mi..kaoz eh..idiot..dun shout at mi lar..idiot..i apologise lar..can a not?oso not purposely de..relac..i'm not angry..kaoz..sori lar..idiot..den tried to stop jeryl fr screamin..kaoz..we oso not purposely de...den later...we went bac 2 eugene's huse..change mar...

men.....wonder hao tml will b lik..cant wait....excited..('_')!=)...i tink of u

2004-08-27T22:25:00.000-07:00

men...cant wait.....realli de..i now listen 2 tata's young songs..i feel lik cryin...."its hard fer mi 2 noe tad u b sry...no matter wad i do..no matter wad i do...feel sry ani wae"....kk...can't help it...gonna blurt out mi tings n feelins bout love.....gonna cry le...
heart hurts..mi heart hurtz...i dun noe y...no point cryin n carin fer him..his nt fer mi..y shld i care?...i hate him..hate him 2 e core...y?....cos he hurt mi..nth's e same...ani more.....i hate him..
i tot i could let go but in e end i realize i couldn...i couldn..i realise e cruel truth..it hurt...everytym i look into his eyes i realize i do..i do..i wanna let go..actually half way throu le lor..y liddat?..cryin...alwayz cryin...lord help mi..i feel confuse....wads happenin?...som31 tell mi..esp u ..ur e 1 tad noes everyting..u noe de..i cant control mi feelins le....i dun lik him..i lik u..i love u..i dun wan go ani deeper cos it'll hurt more..*cryin*.."babe i got a crush..i wish upon a star..cant u c hao rite we r..we shld b together.."..

now at english lesson..kaoz..i'll love e co lessons we had

2004-08-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

men...now at com lesson in miss lim's lesson..haix.hope tad we'll b able yo continue tis kind of lesson..shiok lei..i cant bear to end tis type of lesson...i bet whole clas oso feel tis..cant wait 4 jinkai party...g2g go...bbuiaz

haiz...todae shuo sad...first history den jinkai's departure

2004-08-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

haix....i feel shuo upset bout tad damn idiotic history..everytime i'm regrettin aft each n every single test tad i din study hard enuff
,always wastin time...kaoz....now regret larzx...c lar...haiz...todae we took pic we mr quek cos jin kai leavin mar....haix...den mr quek sae he might b oso leavin....kaoz.....y everbody leavin? men......i wan 1e3 to unite 4eva...we're e best clas,e eva best tad noboby can beat or destroy us....even thou dere were bad blood but i tink we stilkl rox lorz...todae shuo saddenin...
almost cried..yea..did cry..no tad i lik jin kai but seriously hope tad no 1 would leave e clas....hiax....sad sad sad..shuo saddenin...
realli hope nobody would leave le....haix.....cum 2 tok abt luv..its even worse...wanna tok bout luv n frenship...haix...luv...i scared M tink we stead lei..i scared..i realli scare...i dun noe if he tink we r..but i tink he does lei..hao???!!!....i shuo scared...ask mi tad question...wad does it mean?..i seriously seriously dun wan 2 sae tis cos i dun wan sum1 2 c..okie..fine i sae it out nicely..i oni treat him as a fren...true tads true..e truth..mayb a little bit more den fren larx..but e feelin still not dere...haiz..i lik sum1 else...some1 else realli....i wonder if he does...i reali wonder..plz dun keep mi waitin..men...i hope M would find his true luv soon n e person is reali not mi..i luv him as a fren.mayb more den tad...true....its e truth...realli.....

todae first tym here..guai guai de...(-.-')

2004-08-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

i feel guai guai de..is tis mi blog?..i feel shuo strange..haha...bu xi guan ba..i tink shuo ba...tads e reason....dun realli noe hao 2 deco yet....i feel veri de bad..almost every1 in mi clas studyin xcept 4 e 3 of mi clas..includin mi lar...hahas..i realli hope i won fail..cant afford 2 fail lor..muz work veri hard cos den can go 4 bbq tis sat..but definetely can guarantee tad won score gd marks de..haix..stressful sia...haix...i hope i will pass lor..haix..muz hav confidence de...its hard..men....cum 2 luv feelins
...haix..plz..men...1 word..-trapped....cant realli n hav tad enuff tym 2 elaborate on it cos...haix..nth larxz...men...i dun wan 2 feel fer u...dun wan to feel ani ting..AT ALL...men..hu an understand....
haix....23 of August..mi blog's birthdate...diaoxz..."...i wish all 1e3 pupils gd luck fer eng n maths test ba...lets all study hard..

Me