Lost In Beauty-

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Well, its been long time since I posted, but anyway that's not the main point. Although it was jus 2 months since I last posted but yar, many stupid things happen.

Nationals was over. And as expected they got nothing. Why, in top ten very happy izit? Please there was only ten zones so ten teams. Actually all year4s are the same. We don't need you to win anything, to maintain that standard but as long as u have put in ur best. Everyone goes:" Don't worry! Go have fun! enjoy, just do your best!" But the problem is have you put in your best. I have eyes, everyone has eyes and I believe God has eyes. Eyes to determine and deduce whether you have put in your 100% effort. Well, to everyone the answer is no. You can come up with all kinds of reasons or even, excuses to comfort yourself, but the ultimate thing is your lying. The seniors are the same and so are the juniors. To surprise me even further, I have cadets that even wanted to fight. If you haven't put in any effort in upholding and in buidling the corp, then u have absolutely NO RIGHT to disgrace or tarnish our reputations. So many corp was laughin at us. We have one big point: that our cadets are oblivious. Oblivious to everything. Even to wad is happening to the corp now.

When there are bad cadets, there are bad Ncos.

When Miss ow was having lit lesson, she said:" When you become a teacher, you have to change sides. To become someone you never really wanted. In a situation, your this person. In another you're totally different." That words rang a bell. Then not knowing why, I jus turned to look at careen and said, "Nco is the same". Then we nodded. And i started thinking. If the year4s didn't played each of their roles, our juniors woundn't be what they were today. If i was not a tyrant, or if anyone wasn playin their role, would the cadets be wad they were today? Would they be united? Would they be proud of who they are? Would they have so much torturing or tough memories to brag about n bring them together? Well, I would say that's what seniors left for us. Any other thing wasnt important but what the trainings left behind.

But then I think back again and laugh at myself. Just how good are we? How good are we as seniors to train until such cadets who do not reflect and think? Cadets who are self-centred, problematic and oblivious. Cadets who are problematic and cause problems almost every training. Well, no one is perfect. Not even us as ncos. But we certainly did try to deliver our best to you, to mend whatever mistakes we have done. But we are certain of one fact. We did not teach you people to become complacent. People who are self-centred who only see themselves in the mirror. People who think they are the best and will lead or do things better. Why? Have your achieved smth your are so proud of? What achievements have you laid for the corp? Are u really so united? Or is it just that certain batch of ppl who start influencing themselves n all become complacent and proud together? Call youselves as one? Think again. I'm sick of ppl sayin they will change, they acknowledge their faults but they never change. If the person is lying,its okay. But if that problem comes over n over again n repeats, then there must be some problem with you. Its human nature to forgive and forget, to be proud and forget who are the ones who have trained them, but to reflect and remember is a challenge. And all your biggest fault is to not reflect, think and be humble.

When there are bad cadets, there are bad Ncos.

When there are lousy ppl leading, obviously nothing works. If you think you all have worked hard enough, think again. Are your just working towards "solutions" that do not produce results? What's wrong with your methods? I just do not understand why your do not open your eyes WIDE and Think hard enough. Don't you see anything wrong? Before you scold ppl, think about yourself. We are not perfect, when we led we were not too. But are thinking and reflecting? Tryin to save the situation? You have put in effort, that's for sure but you as a person, something is wrong. I'm still shock to see ppl now, crying, quitting, angry, fed-up. Why? Aren't you just committing your daily mistakes as per normal? Have you learned?

I'm just watching. Watching as it all falls apart. To think we said that we are proud of you and laid our hopes on you, I'm ashamed of myself. That bubble of hope has burst, because of all the foolish pride I see in my cadets. And so, we're all watching it fall, because the rest is really not up to us. We once nutured our cadets to the best, but now, no hope, potential, nothing. If you say u respect someone, then think again. Is it by mouth? What are you just doing? Just respecting or fufilling the person's expectations n hope the person has on you? Aren't you all just breaking the hopes and expectations the person has just continually laid on you? And that whole cycle just repeats itself.

Fate is half- shaped by expectations, half-shaped by inattention.

If you think what I all said was crap, I just want you to know, that people must think and reflect. And not be complacent.

Labels: I see it falling.

And so what's your beauty? ;